Well, I do wish this were still titled Junk Drawer, 'Cause I feel like that's where my Life's been pitched...
Yes, freinds, after 14 years of soulful Love & 11yrs of hard won success at marriage, homeownership, business partnership, & the birth & raising of two wonderful boys, My beautiful, loving, compassionate, hard-working, & toally HOTT wife has decided to toss it all into the crapper.
She has decided to trade me in on an Older, Fatter, & Uglier (didn't believe that was possible) two-faced, double-timing(yes, he's married too) piece-of-crap sleazeball that she met at Church. This jackass is on the board of trustees & charged with Community-Building within the congregation. I guess if he's planning to do it one younger, married woman at a time, he's off to a good start.

Sorry I haven't been about of late, but my energies have been directed toward keeping this implosion from occuring. Ah, well. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose BIG.

Wish I had some model-related success, or any success at all to relate,
But that's it.

Thanks for all of your support & friendship in the Past. Don't know when I'll be able to get back to 'Reglar' status 'round here, but this too shall Pass, right???

PAX,
RobH

Oh man.............. The "splits" are always ugly.....and take time to settle down.......

Ya know ya can count of Us if ya need to vent..............or just need to talk........

Rob,
My parents got divorced when I was about 10 so trust me when I say that sometimes it is for the best. Just look after your boys and yourself and the rest will fall back into place... perhaps not soon but someday not so far off.

Take care,
Jim

Thats pretty tough news Robert. Sorry to hear things went south on you.. Thing that bugs me about it all is the lawyers are the only folks that come out on top... Good luck..


Dave

Yep, been there and done that too. Mine was after five years but with no kids, that has got to be the toughest part. I feel as though I ended up on top out of mine as I am happily married (this time) for 10 years now. Take it easy try not to stress it too much (impossible). Good luck.

That bites the big one. I'm sorry to hear about that. It's her loss! Completely her loss!

Been there myself - if you need someone to rant at privatley - pm me and i'll give you my Email addy.

Now married 3 years second tima around - and still loving it - There IS light at the end of the tunnel.

All the best.

Andy

My parents split up at Christmas time of my senior year in high school (1981-82) just before their 20th anniversary. Mom met and eventually married a co-worker. I was my mom's favorite growing up and my dad made the last half of my senior year a living hell.

Many scholarship letters were tossed in an area behind where we normally kept new mail (my younger brother eventually found a lot of it a year or so later). This amounted to lost money when I needed it most.

I was fortunate to get a large amount of money from school on a wrestling scholarship, but still had to take out all sorts of student loans. Took me 10 years to pay them all off.

My dad would make snide comments and sarcastically chant, "Rob's an all-american boy, Rob's an all-american boy."

Needless to say, his actions then have curtailed his participation throughout my adult life. He's seen my children only once in 2002 and has never seen my youngest son. He was invited and did attend my wedding in 1992 though.

I guess I'm trying to warn you about the dangers of misdirecting your anger. It may end up hurting you in the long run.

As far as my mom goes, she and my stepfather have been happily married since 1983 and retired to Florida in 2005. My children and my older sister's children consider him their grandfather and are very close to him.

I did give my first born son my dad's name as a middle name though.

My wife's parents have divorced as well. Even though her dad lives about an hour away, she has not been down to see him in the 2+ years we've lived her.

It's really a tough time for you and you have my sympathy and ear or shoulder like the others at the site have offered.
My parents were divorced when I was 10 also and there was nothing nice in it for me or my sister.
For the sake of your kids try (however hard it may be) not to pass the bitterness, thinking they will understand the pain you are going through.
When they are adults they can ask or ascertain what caused the breakup.

I'm sorry anyone has to go through this type of breakup,
Charles

Sorry to hear about what's happened. I wish you and Logan all the best and remember to keep your chin up...

Just like Mebm said...


Maybe you should talk to your preacher about what a fellow church member has done. I know a girl had cheated on her husband at our church, and the preacher made both of them stand up in front of everyone and then the preacher really stuck it to them. After all they have disobeyed one of the 10 commandments...

I got divorced after nine years with no kids involved. I am truly happily married now.

I would definitely say something to your church pastor/minister though. With the position of responsibility/trust that clown holds, he needs to be exposed for what he really is. I would be mature and respectable about it but I would definitely make the facts known to the head of the church.

I'm sorry for your loss. Keep your chin up. There are brighter paths ahead.

I still have the same phone number if you feel like calling Robert.

I'm really very, very sorry to hear about this Rob. I have personally been blessed to not having had to gone through this, either with my parents, or myself, but I know a lot of people, most all of my friends, who have gone through it. In many cases they've had the attitude of the old joke about why is divorce so expensive, "because it's worth it." This doesn't seem to be the case with you because of the circumstances of what happened. I can only say that in every case with my friends it really all worked out for the best. The biggest concern I have is how this will affect your relationship with your kids. I truly pray, as ironic as that might be under the circumstances, that your soon to be ex doesn't screw you over like so many exes I know try to do. Don't let her, or her lawyer, bully you about your kids. Stand up for every right you have.

Hopefully it won't be long until you see this is really for the best and you can get on with the rest of your life.

Good luck guy.

Been there too. Currently been married 10 plus years and they have been the best. Things have a way of working out...

Shaun

Sometimes its good to vent your frustrations like that, your not the only one going thru these problems. Good luck to you.

Sorry to hear about your situation. Sounds like yuo got sucker punched. My brother and one of my best friends went through a nasty divorces. Despite all the lawyer jokes, make sure you get a good lawyer right away and plan your case. Both got nailed on child support, one while his adopted daughter was permananently placed in state custody in a mental institution and the other while his son kept "playing" student.

Rob,

Bummer. Really. My parents divorced when I was too young to remember and dad died when I was seven. I have to say, some things happen horribly to just shine brighter later. If my parents stayed together and Dad stuck around, I wouldn't be the same person I am today. I wouldn't.
On the other hand, I look at all the divorces going on in the world and I wonder why people make a holy, sacred vow, a vow to God as well as to each other and decide to break it.
I just spent $1700.00 on a engagement ring to present to Gigi in July. Every time I think about it I wonder if I'm ready to make a vow to God and to Gigi. I take it very seriously that I'm making such a promise to love, honor, protect and support for freaking EVER, that I realize it's a leap of faith, and you can't just "prepare". You have to really believe.
I'm sorry that your wife didn't take that vow seriously. She, as Ladymodelbuilder pointed out, should be made to stand before the congregation and confess her transgression. She met this jackass at church, why shouldn't she fess-up before God and her peers?
But that's neither here, nor there.
YOU take care Rob, get a good lawyer and cover your ass. She didn't deserve you and obviously doesn't deserve any "parting gifts.

Hang in there.
Cuhail

Sorry to hear it Rob. I had gone through a divorce as a kid (my parents split when I was 11) and it wasn't pretty. One thing you need to make sure is to reinforce in your kids is that none of this is their fault. You know the reasons for your divorce but your kids may not understand and could blame themselves. Do not let that happen.

You know what they say...what goes around comes around and your soon-to-be-ex wife will get what's coming to her. It never fails.

Keep your head up and if you need someone to talk to shoot me a PM and I will give you my phone number.

Dude, Im sorry to hear about your wife. That totally sux. Personally, I think she is making a huge mistake. But this is one of those mistakes that once you make, its hard if not impossible to fix. Its sad, but to some people, those vows they take seem to have some kind of time limit because its as if one day, all you worked to acheive in building a life and a family goes right out the window. For what its worth, and I doubt this will ease your mind at all, I believe what goes around comes around. If hes married now, and hes a cheat, he will cheat on your wife one day too. Then, and only then will she kick herself in the butt for giving you and your family up for some dirt bag. Some women learn the hard way. Here is a quick personal example that I hope makes you laugh. I couldnt laugh at it when it was happening to me, but in the end, I did. I had been dating a girl I was crazy about for some time. Things seemed great until she left me for this guy named Steve. She left with no good reason either. I did nothing wrong, she just wanted to be with him and not me. Well, I was devastated and didnt get over her for a couple of months. About the time I really did get over her, she called me. She wanted to get back together, and she also wanted me to beat the crap out of Steve. Now, I had no interest in her at this point, and I really wanted to hear the story, so I asked what happened. Well, apparently, her and her girlfriends were leaving a club and they ran into Steve leaving a gay bar with some guy! LMAO I died laughing. I said, "well, sorry, I dont beat up girls, and I dont want you back after youve been with him, so have a nice life". Had someone told me I would have the last laugh on that one, I would never have believed them, but as fate would have it, I did. I hope everything works out for you. Best wishes.

Gary

So sorry to hear Rob, but as the others have said, she clearly doesn't know what she's missing.
Things will work themselves out mate, Don't worry about anything.




That wouldn't be such an idea.
After all, they're both in violation of one of the 10 commandments as Penny said.

Just wanted to thank all of you for your kind replies, support, & good advice. Even though I'm getting shat upon here, I am keeping my head & trying to make things come out best in the end for the little guys. Some days I feel like going on a tear & destroying everything of value to her, but I realize that would get me nothing but lost custody. I've got them both dead to rights, got copies of 1096 emails(!) they sent to eachother on my aol account... , copies of some smarmy love song CD's he gave her, even a Valentine's card he slipped her at a board meeting . I tried to get his ass kicked off the Board but apparently they've violated no covenants so no punishment will be handed down(How about Moral Purpitude? Doesn't anyone give a crap about BAD EXAMPLES anymore????
Well, I'm going to do everything I can to make sure this Jackass has no hand in raising my kids(got an alienation of affection lawsuit setup just in case wifey decides to do anything stupid) and since I'm cosigned to the deed of the house I can have him arrested for tresspassing anytime he oozes through the door.
Question- anyone out there a Lawyerish type who knows how hard it would be to get a Restraining Order against this Bum? Just enough to keep him say 1000-1500m away from my kids at all time so he can't try to make himself the "new Daddy" when I'm not about? I'm putting in my bid to become a security/Bomb-dog trainer-handler with one of the top overseas security providers (Triple Canopy), so I don't want old greasy trying to sleaze my kids away from me while I'm off getting fragged in Afghanistan & he sits on his fat ass playing computer nerd for a bunch of overpriced Lawyers...

Anyway, thanks for the support.
I NEED it.

SingleWhiteDad

Wish that I was, Rob, wish that I was. Keep yer head about ye, and keep the young 'uns in mind.... sounds like you are, and I wish you the best. I don't know the American justice system, but we're here for you.

PM sent.

Good Luck!

Hi Rob, sorry to hear your bad news. Unfortunately most people have been affected by the big D in one way or another. As has been said, GET A GOOD LAWYER!




What about the main covenant, the Holy Covenant i.e. the ten commandments? That clearly states:

Thou shalt not commit adultery.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife.

Which Church wants people with questionable morals on their board of trustees?