The facilities department where I work designed an office layout where two offices shared one photo copier .Th copier was out in the passageway between the two offices.The first time anyone went to use it they found there was nowhere to plug it in.


The same people designed the control room where I work.We were asked for our input .The first thing we noticed was as above, there were no electrical sockets for anything.On pointing this out we were told we hadn`t asked for any.

Boss said we didn`t ask for electric lights but we got em. For some reason the company pays these educated people about ten grand a year more than me.

An actor's agency I know of had a new computer installed it worked fine for a day and then nothing, they checked all the connections and in the end they called out the guy who installed the computer who found the problem- one of the actors had turned the monitor off and no one had realised ">it. They walk among alright and some of them are on your TV

Sometimes it's you!

I was cutting an apple with a pocket knife on a camping trip way back when. Suddenly I feel the kinfe poke through the apple and into my hand, making me reel back really quickly and drop the knife. The first thing out of my mouth was...


"Stupid apple!"

Many years ago in Dental school I had a patient that keep the surfaces of her teeth that faced the world spotless. She brushed after ever meal and sometimes in between meals. Now the parts of the teeth that were not visable were the grossest I have ever seen! I asked her, why she was only cleaning the parts of her teeth while letting others go untended, she replied - "You mean I have to brush the parts that people cannot see?"

They walk amoung us and have Halatosis!

When my wife and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the keys had been accidentally locked in it. We went to
the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger's side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open.

"Hey," I announced to the mechanic, "It's open!"

"I know," answered the young man.- "I already got that side."

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

He was probably ex-REME.

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

OFF XMAS LIST ----for 2 years
aye
BARV
(GOSMG)

Great post!

British Gas sent us a series of the 'we must inspect your meter' letters, culminating in a 'let us in or we'll smash the door down' one.

We agreed on the 17th and arranged to have time off work.

So the ******* turned up on the 1st and 7th and left cards behind to say that they had found no-one in. Well they wouldn't, would they?

Perhaps in a parallel dimension that is the 17th ????

David

Ola Guys

Some brilliant stories again... I just thought of two more

Years ago when I got my first cell phone for my birthday immediately I found out that it was not working properly when I got it out the package. So we called the shop where we got it. I was answered by a very nice sounding girl. I explained the situation and she said it was ok to send it back to the shop as long as I had not opened the package. My question was how in that case I had to find out if the thing was working properly.. She then told me it could not be returned because I opened the package. I said so next time when I buy a TV I will put the closed box on the table... walk around it for an half hour and then return to the shop and tell the people working there that I have the suspicion that it could possibly not work? Called her stupid and she actually hang up on me.. 15 minutes later I got the store manager frantically calling me back to make the whole deal good. Got meself a new phone then.

In the first years that we had Hi Speed Broadband here in Holland it was always a mess with the providers and a lot of local smaller providers were taken over by the bigger ones. Often your Connection popped out without any form of reason. But usually that never did last long. Now one time when we were at one of our providers called Sonera (Slownera for he people who used it) and our internet connection stopped. Well you wait a day, You wait two days. So finally I took up the phone to see what the problem was. I got a guy from the help service and explained my story about not having an internet connection for a few days and the guy said "Hmmmmm... Do you know we have a special Email address for that sort of business?"
All I could do was "Sigh" I don't think you really understand my problem!
I can write a book alone of what we have communicated with the internet provider over the next three months till they found out that during a server move they forgot to take our cluster with the move and we were still attached to a dead computer. Kinda like Home Alone without the annoying kid but still not funny.

They surely walk among us and mostly they have jobs in such a way you can't avoid them.

With friendly greetz

Robert Blokker

Three archaeological stories:

One of my co-workers mentioned a grave slab belonging to the DERNEATH family while we were digging in Abergavenny, I pointed out that it was missing the letters U and N from the start......

We were out on another job and the site director was having a meeeting with various suits from the county council. They were standing around scratching their heads wondering what 12" VHP on the plan they were looking at meant. So Roger Linnard and I went off to visit British Gas and asked them nicely to mark out the 12" Very High Pressure gas main before we started digging.

We usually do a service check before starting any excavation, doing this is South Wales was sometimes exciting as we were told by the electricity supplier that they had accidentally destroyed some of their records and if we found anything, could we let them know.

David

David

Vigo, Spain - last thursday.

A woman stopped her car outside a store and left her three-year old strapped in his safety seat. To ensure the child was properly 'amused' while she was in the store, she gave him a cigarette lighter to play with.

Ten minutes later the car was in flames. Fortunately the toddler was rescued with only superficial burns...

Truly, They Walk Amongst Us...

Here are some from my time as a chemistry student.

Every monday and tuesday, we had lab days, and one particular student thought it was a good idea to put acetone in a water bottle, without telling everyone that this was the case.

another student thought it was a good idea to refill his lighter with ethanol, except... someone before him had put sulphuric acid in a bottle which was clearly labelled as ethanol.

and... one student finally moved out of the house and was living alone in an appartment. For his first own-made meal, he decided to bake pancakes... so he made a batter, poured it all in a pan and wondered why his pancake never got done...

They walk among us, and have studied chemistry

Our IT dept sends out an e-mail reporting that the e-mail server is down. We know, we can't get e-mails... Yours included!

In my second year at high school:

I'm in home economics, everyones baking cakes.
Anyway, so we're almost finished, and me&my buddy are adding sprinkles to the masterpiece, but a few fall off.
My buddy asks to go to the toilet while i clean up, so he heads off while i start washing down the cooking area.
He comes back about ten minutes later, and started messing around with the sprinkles that hadn't stuck to the cake. Later on we're admiring the cake and i ask him what he done with the sprinkles he had been mucking about with.
"Simple" he replied," I glued them back on"

:-) :-) :-)


He'd went to the shops and bought glue instead of going to the toilet.

I was talking to this chick in Germany once, and she asked me where I was from, and when I said I was from Sri lanka, she wanted to know where that was. So I explained that it was an island, just south of India.

She then asks me which ocean India is in.

And she was a primary school teacher, she claimed.