Spare Parts
For non-modeling topics and those without a home elsewhere.
For non-modeling topics and those without a home elsewhere.
Hosted by Jim Starkweather
I need a wife
Easy_Co
Member Since: September 11, 2002
entire network: 1,933 Posts
KitMaker Network: 814 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 02:57 AM UTC
I go to Cyprus a lot for my holidays, one day me and the missus are walking past a house where we see four cypriot men playing cards and drinking brandy on the verandah, while the owners wife is knocking up concrete for the garden path, as I stared at this scene of Marital bliss i recieved a whack from a heavy beach bag and a look that could crack a beach fortification.I suggested we move there permenatley I cannot print the reply. :-) :-)
SpiritsEye
Member Since: May 09, 2004
entire network: 1,041 Posts
KitMaker Network: 0 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 10:59 AM UTC
Quoted Text
I go to Cyprus a lot for my holidays, one day me and the missus are walking past a house where we see four cypriot men playing cards and drinking brandy on the verandah, while the owners wife is knocking up concrete for the garden path, as I stared at this scene of Marital bliss i recieved a whack from a heavy beach bag and a look that could crack a beach fortification.I suggested we move there permenatley I cannot print the reply. :-) :-)
:-) :-) :-)
this topic is cracking me up!!
:-) :-) :-)
brandydoguk
Member Since: October 04, 2002
entire network: 1,495 Posts
KitMaker Network: 0 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 02:23 PM UTC
A guy at work told me his wife had gone missing two days ago. I asked him what happened and he said she'd gone to the shop to buy a can of carrots to have with their dinner and never came back. I said "That's scary. What did you do about it?"
He said "Oh, it's OK, I opened a can of peas instead."
He said "Oh, it's OK, I opened a can of peas instead."
Graywolf
Senior Editor
Member Since: December 01, 2001
entire network: 6,405 Posts
KitMaker Network: 1,013 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 03:04 PM UTC
Quoted Text
When you find a woman that you can't live without....then it's time for a wife!
Jim
no Jim no.
when you find a woman that can't live without you..then it's time for a wife. :-)
MrRoo
Member Since: October 07, 2002
entire network: 3,856 Posts
KitMaker Network: 719 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 04:19 PM UTC
Quoted Text
Quoted TextI think it is time I got a wife
Give me your addie and I'll send you mine.
Signed
Dead Meat if she ever see's this :-) :-)
I think I will show Ma Roo this one and I can guess what choise words she would say to Steve Keegan when they chat next time. :-)
After 22 years of marriage to Ma Roo I have only done the ironing once. That was on my army uniform 'cause if it was wrong I had only myself to blame.
:-) 
andy007
Member Since: May 01, 2002
entire network: 2,088 Posts
KitMaker Network: 471 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 05:12 PM UTC
The only person that does the ironing in my house is my Dad! 
flitzer
Member Since: November 13, 2003
entire network: 2,240 Posts
KitMaker Network: 677 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 06:31 PM UTC
This sounds like a script for "I didn't know you cared"...I heard that ...pardon.
Aye....well....er...first thing am gooint get t'wife when we get wom is a gradely set ov laddurs..then shi con get up an clean that gutterin ehat.
Seriously tho ...any ladies seeing this must know its not a wife you are looking for...but a slave...lol.
Or Martin maybe some candidates would look on you as a challenge...a lifetimes work no doubt...
Cheers
And keep your head down there maybe a flying handbag or two heading in your direction.
Peter
:-)
Aye....well....er...first thing am gooint get t'wife when we get wom is a gradely set ov laddurs..then shi con get up an clean that gutterin ehat.
Seriously tho ...any ladies seeing this must know its not a wife you are looking for...but a slave...lol.
Or Martin maybe some candidates would look on you as a challenge...a lifetimes work no doubt...
Cheers
And keep your head down there maybe a flying handbag or two heading in your direction.
Peter
:-) 
brandydoguk
Member Since: October 04, 2002
entire network: 1,495 Posts
KitMaker Network: 0 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 07:05 PM UTC
Quoted Text
Martin maybe some candidates would look on you as a challenge...a lifetimes work no doubt...
I think that's how my ex fiance looked upon me - as a challenge. One that she failed miserably I should add.
Maybe I should give up on getting a wife and put myself up for adoption.
If anyone here is thinking of adding to their family but don't want to go through the hassle of looking after a baby then I could be the answer.
I'm housetrained, apart from the occasional accident when too much lager and a curry kick in
and although I take a lot of feeding I am faithful and obedient and don't need much exercise.Any takers?
flitzer
Member Since: November 13, 2003
entire network: 2,240 Posts
KitMaker Network: 677 Posts
Posted: Sunday, September 05, 2004 - 10:37 PM UTC
Hey Martin...
have you thought about approaching Reeves and Mortimer?
They may consider a new series...but can you play drums? Pink romper-suit is probably provided. :-)
Cheers
Peter
:-) 
have you thought about approaching Reeves and Mortimer?
They may consider a new series...but can you play drums? Pink romper-suit is probably provided. :-)
Cheers
Peter
:-) 
Grumpyoldman
Consigliere
Member Since: October 17, 2003
entire network: 15,338 Posts
KitMaker Network: 5,072 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 01:55 AM UTC
MY GOD MARTIN.... YOU'RE A GENIUS !!!!!!!
Why didn't I think of putting my senile, old butt up for adoption????????
OH YEAH.....that's right....... they all take those cute little kittens and puppies, and just gas us old dogs.........
who cares if we already are house broken..... and know how to put the seat and lid down...... and do windows..... (only inside).... OH.... poor me, NO ONE wants us poor old broken down, junk yard dogs...... #:-)
Why didn't I think of putting my senile, old butt up for adoption????????
OH YEAH.....that's right....... they all take those cute little kittens and puppies, and just gas us old dogs.........
who cares if we already are house broken..... and know how to put the seat and lid down...... and do windows..... (only inside).... OH.... poor me, NO ONE wants us poor old broken down, junk yard dogs...... #:-)
brandydoguk
Member Since: October 04, 2002
entire network: 1,495 Posts
KitMaker Network: 0 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 02:17 AM UTC
Quoted Text
Why didn't I think of putting my senile, old butt up for adoption????????
Hey Dave, my granny is single, do you want me to put in a word on your behalf?
Quoted Text
Pink romper-suit is probably provided. :-)
I don't think the thought of me in a pink romper suit would impress anyone Peter.
I could upload a pic of me wearing nothing but a thong if you think that would help?
Grumpyoldman
ConsigliereMember Since: October 17, 2003
entire network: 15,338 Posts
KitMaker Network: 5,072 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 02:33 AM UTC
Quoted Text
I could upload a pic of me wearing nothing but a thong if you think that would help?
OH PLEASE DON'T...... WE STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN OVER THE TRONSUIT LIGHTED UNDERSWEAR DUDE...... !!!!!!
As a side note.... the thought of me in a thong is a very frightening thought..... kind of like putting a band-aid on the goodyear blimp............. :-)
garrybeebe
Member Since: November 24, 2003
entire network: 1,969 Posts
KitMaker Network: 0 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 02:33 AM UTC
[quote]
Hey Dave, my granny is single, do you want me to put in a word on your behalf?
I don't think the thought of me in a pink romper suit would impress anyone Peter.
I could upload a pic of me wearing nothing but a thong if you think that would help?
EWWWWW! The image, get it out of my head! EWWW!
:)
Quoted Text
Why didn't I think of putting my senile, old butt up for adoption????????
Hey Dave, my granny is single, do you want me to put in a word on your behalf?
Quoted Text
Pink romper-suit is probably provided. :-)
I don't think the thought of me in a pink romper suit would impress anyone Peter.
I could upload a pic of me wearing nothing but a thong if you think that would help?
EWWWWW! The image, get it out of my head! EWWW!
:)
flitzer
Member Since: November 13, 2003
entire network: 2,240 Posts
KitMaker Network: 677 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 01:50 PM UTC
Quoted Text
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Pink romper-suit is probably provided.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't think the thought of me in a pink romper suit would impress anyone Peter.
I could upload a pic of me wearing nothing but a thong if you think that would help?
Steady Martin...
No Thanks...it would put me off my beer for life....
Funny how I've got a horrible dry taste in my mouth now....need a beer...thats it.
Cheers
Peter
BroAbrams
Member Since: October 02, 2002
entire network: 1,546 Posts
KitMaker Network: 494 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 08:00 PM UTC
To paraphrase Jeff Foxworthy, getting married to get the laundry done is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts. Get a maid. 
Rob
Rob
brandydoguk
Member Since: October 04, 2002
entire network: 1,495 Posts
KitMaker Network: 0 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 09:30 PM UTC
Quoted Text
getting married to get the laundry done is like buying a 747 to get free peanuts.
Heh heh, good one.
Quoted Text
I could upload a pic of me wearing nothing but a thong if you think that would help?
Quoted Text
OH PLEASE DON'T
Quoted Text
EWWWWW! The image, get it out of my head! EWWW!
How about this for a survey on the site?
WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SEE FEATURED ON THE HOMEPAGE IN A THONG?
a. Brandydoguk
b. Grumpyoldman
c. Garrybeebe
d. Flitzer
e. Brandydoguk
garrybeebe
Member Since: November 24, 2003
entire network: 1,969 Posts
KitMaker Network: 0 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 09:57 PM UTC
In Daffy ducks voice: Martin, your dispicable!
flitzer
Member Since: November 13, 2003
entire network: 2,240 Posts
KitMaker Network: 677 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 10:34 PM UTC
Quoted Text
WHO WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO SEE FEATURED ON THE HOMEPAGE IN A THONG?
a. Brandydoguk
b. Grumpyoldman
c. Garrybeebe
d. Flitzer
e. Brandydoguk
I don't think any...unless uncontrolled un-beer assisted vomiting is your thing....lol.
Cheers
Peter
"thinks...is this post slipping down hill?or is over the hill
greatbrit
Member Since: May 14, 2003
entire network: 2,127 Posts
KitMaker Network: 677 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 10:57 PM UTC
Quoted Text
"thinks...is this post slipping down hill?or is over the hill
i would say more round the bend!
flitzer
Member Since: November 13, 2003
entire network: 2,240 Posts
KitMaker Network: 677 Posts
Posted: Monday, September 06, 2004 - 11:33 PM UTC
You are not wrong Joe...
will you flush or shall I....lol.
Yes its become a bit of a Monster.
Cheers
Peter
will you flush or shall I....lol.
Yes its become a bit of a Monster.
Cheers
Peter
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