You're in a tough spot. I would never call another Marine a "soldier." We weren't trained that way. Also, I don't remember that there were any Marines in Viet Nam/Cambodia in 1978. I had an employee that died, and we found that he had a lot of Viet Nam Vet paraphernalia in his possessions. I wanted to make sure he got his measure of benefits (military honors,etc). I was sure that he was not a Vet, but to be sure, I called the VA (at the National Cemetery here in San Bruno, CA), and asked them to check by his name and social security number, which they did while we were on the phone, and they cross-checked by other info, and came up empty...No Service. It bothers me to deal with a liar, especially when I read the names of brother Marines I served with on the wall in D.C....one really good H.S. and college Baseball Player, and one who wanted to study art after his time in the USMC. That being said, if you want to check to confirm your own sanity, go ahead and find out (I would want to know), then keep it to yourself. Between your mother and your wife, it would be truly difficult at this stage in life to bring this out for air. It will be difficult to hide when the family would want Military Honors at a funeral. "Colors seen by candlelight are not the same in the day." As for my experience, I destroyed all of the "Vet stuff" before his daughter came out for his funeral. His brother already knew and had kept quiet for a long time. I also should mention that I own a funeral home and have seen the situation you and I have described unfold in front of friends and family at a funeral. If there is anything I can help you with, or you would like to amplify this, IM me and I'll get back.
Semper Fidelis: "Always Faithful: To your God, to your country and to your Corps...in that order." S/Sgt Gary A. Radmall, my D.I. 1965, San Diego USMCRD
Matt
Also, it is my understanding that there is a detachment of Marines on each Navy vessel in service today. We called the training for that "Sea School" when I was in. They provide security for the ship. there is a Navy recruiting ad on TV today that shows an aircraft carrier with all hands lining the the sides of the flight deck. As they pan toward the bow of the ship, there are the Marines: lined up across the bow, standing proud (as are all aboard). To all of you out here who have served or are serving: Thank You, and Welcome Home each time you come back; America is proud of you.