When I was a kid I and I used to go camping I loved squirrels. They were cute, and to a city boy like me they were a "wild animal." Well that ends NOW! I'm a bit afraid of heights so going on the roof isn't my favorite activity. This was the first decent weather we've had in about seven weeks, so I went up this morning to finally take down the Christmas lights. I found not one, not two, but three of the five strands of lights had been chewed clear through by squirrels. This means WAR.

My first inclination was to get a "Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle, with the compass in the stock," but I doubt if the city would be too crazy about that. Much as I'd like to shoot the little so and sos I don't think I'd get away with that. My neighbor put out one of those plastic owls, that are supposed to scare them away. The result? They chewed off both of it's ears.

So, does anybody know of a legal way to get rid of these little pests? Before I put up any more lights for them to snack on next year I'm going to have to deal with them.

Hi Rodger!
Get a Dog or a couple of Cats! They'll do the trick!
Or even better: an Eagle or a Falcon!!

We'll I don't know if they will scare the buggers, but...
As for other shooting solutions... My guess is that it will not be legal to shoot them, especially so near to other houses!
There's always traps - put a little electrical cord connected to 220V
Calm down - it would be worst if it were termites
Skipper

I don't think those would work, I think maybe you'll need Army Aviation to do it. A Blackhawk or an Apache is much easier to land in the backyard to do that. :-) :-) :-) :-) I know that the AF academy might be able to send over a hotshot student, but still....

Anyway, on a more serious note, I have a similar situation in that a squirrel has decided that the insulation in my attic should be removed and brought to his lair instead. He pryed open a corner of the vinyl siding at the eave and makes his way in to steal from me.

Of course, he didn't start this until the temperature dropped too low for me to get a ladder from my in-laws to go up the two and a half stories to resecure the siding.

Good luck with this one Rodger,
Dave S.

Large rat traps that are similar to the tradtional mouse traps, except much bigger. They will eliminate or discourage the neighboring squirrels. Use any sort of seeds held fast with peanut butter onto the bait area. Once tripped, place entire unit in a trashbag in the garbage can.

traps & PB.............. I had one that did the same thing in my garage....

Let's say the Nest is coming down in the spring as it's in a damaged tree...... "Sorry the tree is a danger to the house" LOL and to boot they're the Red ones.... the little "terroist" Squirrels as I call them.

Flamethrower?? :-)

Use poison bait in trap and place trap in good field of fire for Daisy Red Ryder. I won't tell anyone and I think your neighbors might have suffered some loss to the little monsters anyway.
Show us your marksmanship bage when your mission is accomplished!

check with the local humane society to see if they have "live traps" they will re-locate the little bastard without Killing him. Should be plenty of room for Squirrels in Colorado.

Ah the plight of the poor misunderstood Grey Squirrel - NOT! Damn ‘Tree Rats’, Rodger when you’re done with your little pest, why not swing by the UK and collect a couple of a million of the little blighters we have in surplus? :-)

Don’t worry Rodger I’m an expert.

What your going to went to do is get yourself a 16ga or 12ga loaded with #6 BBs.
Stick some shelled corn on a nearby stump (a piece of wood will also work.). now go to an upstairs window facing the bait and remove the screen. (This parts very important.)
Be sure to make sure your firing line to the bait is angled enough that you are not going to hit anything next door.

Now wait for the squirrel to start eating and fire.

Next you are going to went to retrieve the squirrel and with a sharp knife slice a ring through the hid around the middle. Now pull on both sides of the hide. The real piece should come all the way down til its only attached at the tail and knees. The top piece should come to the head and “elbow” joints on the front legs.
Now remove its head, ends of its legs, and tail. After this make an incision lengthways across the belly. Then remove everything from inside. Followed by a good rinse in the sink.

Next add barbecue sauce (spaghetti sauce or gravy will also work) and stick in the oven as if you were doing a chicken or turkey. Remove, let cool, and eat.
Just watch for small bones and BBs.


Yes I know probably much more then you expected.


Let us now how it works out.

"A recent finding of lead in a New Jersey landfill has prompted government officials to warn those who do consume squirrel meat to exercise caution".- Even though I hail from Kentucky - I do not eat rats - tree climbing or otherwise

Just be glad they aren't skunks

C.

LMAO Rodger. Dont waste your time with the red ryder BB gun. You'll shoot your eye out, and plus, even if you do hit the squirrel, he will laugh at you! I had a problem where squirrels actually tore THROUGH my roof, and were running in between the walls one winter! I kept hearing them, and didnt know what the hell they were until I saw the hole in the roof one day. They can be destructive little bastards. I tried glue traps, and poison, but that didnt work. One night, they were running around over my bedroom ceiling and then running down the walls to the basement where they could get out of the wall. It drove me nuts, and I could NOT sleep. This went on for 3-4 nights. So finally, I went downstairs to see where they were coming out of. Sure enough, they ran right out of the wall and down the cinder block right in front of me. Like you, I liked squirrels before this, but that really ticked me off. So I went and got my old Sherridan .20 cal air rifle and waited. My Sherridan fires a .20 cal pointed pellet at almost 1000FPS. FInally, two came running down the wall, then saw me, stopped and looked at me a bit confused. At which point, I nailed the one square in the head with a pointed pellet. I swear to you, he shook his head like it was nothing, then ran back up the wall! I found only the most minute trace of blood on the floor! I am sure he was laughing at me thinking "Is that the best you can do BIATCH!" I considered getting my M4 and blasting the little shiite, but I was afraid of a riccochet or doing damage to the house. I also have a compound bow, but Im not good enough to hit that small of a moving target. Then I remembered a Rambo knife I had from when I was a kid, and how you could unscrew the cap, and screw in a painting pole and use it as a spear. So there I stood primitive looking with a mag light in one hand and a spear in the other waiting for more squirrels. Well, the spear didnt work that great either. I didnt expect them to die immediately after I harpooned them, but I definitely did not expect them to run across the basement floor with the spear sticking out of them either!!! To end this long story, I wound up using the spear to harpoon them, and the mag light to beat them to death. I know this is cruel, and believe it or not, I love animals and dont even hunt or fish. But this was just too much, and when you dont sleep for 3-4 nights, you tend to go a wee bit insane! I wound up getting 5 out of 7 that way, and the last two I got with some huge glue traps. Poison isnt a good idea because other animals can eat the poison (especially if you have 3 cats and a dog like I do!), plus I didnt want them to die and then decompose somewhere inside my walls where I couldnt get them out. Nasty. My best suggestion would be either some big glue traps (and YES, buy the big ones), or just live with the squirrels if you can. Its that or be like me and look like something from the movie "Clan Of The Cave Bear" LOL My wife still looks at me funny every time we see a squirrel somewhere

Gary

Good point!

I guess these are grey squirrels? Up to about 120 years ago we only had red squirrels here in Ireland. Some bright spark then brought six grey squirrels back from the USA as a wedding present for one of the landed gentry. When they opened the basket at the reception the squirrels legged it. Now the red squirrel is an endangered species here while the grey thrives. Going to the local botanic gardens here you're likely to be mugged by a gang of them if you bring food and there are signs up warning that they bite. Good hunting Rodger

Perhaps if you leave the lights energized, you just may fry the critters when they chew through the wires. (Had a pet rabbit as a kid that chewed through an energized extention cord, not a pretty sight when I returned from school one day.)
Like Gary, I have an amusing squirrel story.

One night back in the land of teeth and hair, and a wife, we were sitting in the living room watching TV, between fights and arguments, and we heard a scratching sound from the ceiling. I though it probably was a squirrel between the floors. This continued for a while, and low and behold, directly above my lounge chair a little paws pops out of the ceiling. Of course the wife goes nutty, screaming. and of course the neighbors think I'm killing her. (unknown to me at the time!) I simply got out the little step ladder, and reached up and shook the little fellows hand (PAW!), and wouldn't let go........... (Yes, I did wear leather work gloves!) Needless to say, when I did let go, the little critter ran like hell from the house out the same hole he came in. After a ten minute conversation with the man with the badge and gun that all was well, we continued watching the telly.
The next day, the landlord sent over contractors to repair the hole. And we never got squirrels again.

Where is cousin Eddy...doesn't he eat these things?

Hey Rodger, be careful, the little varmints may be the work of Black Bart...


Dave

Wait for the squirrels to put lights on their own home, then, when they least expect it, shower thier home with MOLOTAV COCKTAILS !!!! Firebomb the hell out of them !! And when the cops come to haul you away, claim the squirrels were hoarding weapons of mass destruction, cop the insanity plea and we should see you in 3 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Good luck, we'll be waiting.

Thanks all. A few points you've all raised. I actually have two dogs, Golden Retrievers, and they chase the little varmints, but the squirrels just run up high and laugh at the dogs. I swear, they just sit there and laugh. There are a number of cats in the neighborhood, and I've seen the squirrels chase them, so that's no good. Dave, I was actually thinking of keeping a string of lights plugged in all the time, just to see if one or more of the blighters would get fried. I think the rat traps are my best bet. I'm going to check with various animal control agencies and such, to see if they can offer any suggestions.

Colorado is great for seeing wild life, squirrels, skunks, raccoons, prairie dogs, deer, elk, bear, etc. I really love animals, but when they start destroying the house I've worked way too hard on, that cuts it.

BTW, we did have one come through the roof one day, when I wasn't at home. We were in the process of putting a pitched roof on the house and I had put my leg through the roof by accident, breaking my leg in the process. The little critter fell through the ceiling, scaring hell out of my daughter, and high tailed it out the back door. The dogs, these were different dogs then, just laid there and didn't even wake up.

Thanks for the support.

How about this one then?

(Bullwinkle Moose)-Hey Rocky...watch me pull a shotgun out of my hat! Nuttin' up my sleeve.

(Rocky the Flying Squirrel)-Bullwinkle...not again..aaahgh...ouch...Bullwinkle...where's that shooting
coming from?

(Bullwinkle Moose)-Sorry you little tree rat but I've had it with your holier than thou attitude!

(Rocky)-Stop shooting at me you overgrown mule deer.

(Bullwinkle)-Die you bushy tailed tree climbin' varmit!

(Rocky)-Aaaagh...you got me you big nosed twit...I'm dyin'!

(Bullwinkle)-Good riddance..now I'll see if Professor Peabody and Sherman can recommend a good Lawyer!

(Excerpt from the last Rocky (He always got top billing) and Bullwinkle cartoon show).

"What Moose can not fly a aeroplane?"

I plead insanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Low yield Neutron bomb.
worked for me.

Two words...pet alligator.

Cute they maybe but its definitely WAR when they become pests. As the guys mentioned Rodger, traps work best. Over at my parents place they have resorted to rat traps (the cage ones) and it seems to work fairly well as the little buggers come right into the house and ransack the place.

Trouble with these cousins of the rodent family is like the rest of the family such as rabbits and rats, they need to continuously wear down their teeth otherwise their teeth will literally puncture the mouths if allowed to grow unchecked. I suppose the insulation on the wires are a good alternative. Had the same problem with rats chewing thru my very expensive distributor wires of my car not to mention them nesting in my car aircon vent to boot. It will be very unlikely they will fry themselves by bitting thru when the current is on. The little buggers can probably sense the current I suspect.

I was also thinking of ratbait. You may have to coat it with peanut butter though if they don't take it up after a few days. What attract rats may not do it for squirrels. Just keep replacing the missing baits until you don't see them removed. Squirrels like rats love to hoard.

I'm kind of partial to Jan's (lucky13) idea of the gatling gun too. Only one minor problem with that is you many need some renovation to the roof as well as the neighbour's depending on how steady is your aim..

Good luck and GIve No Quarter Take No Prisoners. I'm currently at WAR with termites.