I recently watched monty python and the holy grail for roughly the sixth time, and it occured to me to start a thread about the top Monty Python lines of all time (not just holy grail- in fact one of the best is from the a skit in a pet store)

So here we are
1. African or European?
2. You can't say your a leader because some crazy broad threw you into a lake!
3. It's not dead, just sleeping

My top two:
" "E's not dead, 'e's resting!"
"No one ever expects the Spanish inquisition!"
"But I don't like Spam!"
Very well, my top three:
" "E's not dead, 'e's resting!"
"No one ever expects the Spanish inquisition!"
"But Idon't like Spam!"
""Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge. wink, wink."
No, my top three quotes:
" "E's not dead, 'e's resting!"
"No one ever expects the Spanish inquisition!"
"But Idon't like Spam!"
""Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge. wink, wink."
"and now for something completely different."
No, my top four quotes:
" "E's not dead, 'e's resting!"
"No one ever expects the Spanish inquisition!"
"But Idon't like Spam!"
""Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge. wink, wink."
"and now for something completely different."
"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay..."


#:-) :-) :-)8

'He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy'

What have the Romans ever done for us? etc

'Squaaaaad camp iiiiiiiit UP!'

Thre faves off the top of my head. :-)

I LOVE Monty Python

"You don't frighten us, English pig-dogs. Go boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person"

"We are the knights who say NI"

"We are no longer the knights who say NI. We are now the knights who say Ecky ecky ecky pikang zoom boing etc. etc."

"You were lucky. We lived for three month, in a paper bag, in a septic tank"

"Right. I had to get up at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I wen't to bed, drink a cup of sulfuric acid. work twenty hour's a day down at the mill and pay the mill owner, for permission to come to work. and when we got home our mom and dad would kill us and dance about on our graves singing hallelulla"

"This is an ex parrot"

"excuse me, is this the right room, for an argument"

"Nobody expects the spanish inquisition"

"My brain hurts"

"Then they nailed my head to the floor"

"Doug and Dinsdale were born, on probation, in a small house"

Just a few, that came in to mind.

I own quite a lot of MP records. More than 15 years ago, I bought a MP vinyl album. I got it home, I listened to the A side and then the B side. I played the A side again and it didn't sound anything like it did, the first time I heard it. I may not have a photographic memory, but I should be able to remember what I had heard less than half an hour ago. I played the A side again and it sounded exactly like it did the first time.
I examined the record close and discovered the A side has two parallel grooves. My mind wasn't playing tricks on me, Monty Python was.
Theoretically you could own and play this record forever and never know that the A side has two grooves. That's Monty Python for ya. :-)

A Reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:

Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, "Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."

Classic...

Shaun

"it would be a shame for them to..catch fire.."

"STOP STOP STOP! This is far too silly!"

"HELP HELP I'M BEING REPRESSED!"




"It's only a flesh wound..."


"I won't interrupt this sketch for a pound"

The entire Flying Sheep sketch.
"Note how they do not so much fly, as plummet."

"It's just gone 8 o'clock and time for the penguin on top of your television set to explode"

"When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up"

"On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place"

Yup, I'm completely obsessed with MP.
Cheers
Ed

"Run away!"

Probably one of the best MP quotes for this site if they are staying there looking at the Castle of Camelot in the holy grail and they are really glorifying the Ruin on the background and then this sidekick saying..... "It`s only a model"

I always like this one too from the life of Bryan:
We bring you a Balm.
A Balm? isn`t that a fierce creature?

We've sacked the people, who sacked the people. who sacked those who were responsible for the credits...we now present Bruce the Wonder Llama.

Where we eat ham and Spam and jam alot

"LOOK AT THE BONES!!! "

:-) :-) :-)

The rabbit is my favorite part.

Favorite MP Sketch: "People trying not to be seen"

Cheers,
Jim

The Larch......


And Daniel Moore, the Lupin Bandit.

And don't forget from "The Meaning of Life", the universe song (last 2 lines) and every sperm is sacred.

and I paid for an argument...where is it?

M.P. & the H.G. - upon approaching the castle already occupied by the French.

French knight : " Go away you English dog pig types or I shall taunt you a second time "

M.P. the tv series the funniest joke in the world.
A cut scene of Hitler orating: " My dog died the other day "
Cut scene of audience: " How does he smell ? "
Cut scene of Hitler: " With his nose ."

And about a thousand more.
When a teenager no matter how much partying done on Friday and Saturday night, we always saved one bone for Sunday night 11:30 p.m. P.B.S. reruns of M.P.
Cheyenne [ my irresponsible youth ]

The Doug and Dinsdale Pirana scetch is my favourite.
"why did Doug nail your head to the coffee table"
"well he hadt to didnt he cos i broke the unwritten rule"
"and what was the unwritten rule"
"well he didnt tell me that, but he's a nice bloke, knows how to treat a transvestite".

and "superintendent Harry Snapper Organs of Q division went undercover on the track of the Pirana brothers using various diguises such a minor roles in repetoir theatre where he played Panco Sanzer in Man from Lamancha and also a minor role in a Sheakspere but got booed of the stage for continueing to interupt the rape scene in Taming of the Shew by coming on stage and saying Hello Hello Hello whats going on here then.

come to think of it I love all there stuff.

She turned me into a newt ..... but I got better.

A weight of 16 tons

Dinsdale.........

"It's run down the curtain and joined the bleedin choir invisible!"

"It's a stiff!, bereft of life...If It hadn't been nailed to the perch it'd be pushin up the daisies.."

"I have got a slug"
"Does it talk?"
"No"
"Well then it's hardly a replacement isn't it?"


"My hovercraft is full of eels."

"Please sir, drop your panties...I cannot wait until lunchtime!"

The last two sound better with a crappy hungarian accent.

Rich

And now for something completely different.