In Honor of Stupid People . . . .
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.








On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)








On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)








On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)










On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)









On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)











On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(and you thought?)











On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)











On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)











On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(I'm taking this because?)












On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)











On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)












On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)











On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)












On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)











On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)












Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...









****Blessed are the cracked: For it is they who let in the light

Omgosh Mary,
Who, what? Chainsaw + genitals = stop? That one, I would like to hear more about, thats just gross.

That was for the benefit of Blondes of the World? :-) :-) :-) :-)

Mary, you slay me sista!

Cuhail

On a shampoo bottle labelled "for dry hair". Product does not make your hair dry.

Brilliant Mary! Thanks for the laugh. Warning labels always make me laugh.

I have to interpose on Marks &Spencer, Boots and Sainsburys’ behalf. This is due to the insanity of warning labels, on packaging, owing to the EU regulations.

The "Warning: may contain nuts" is also found on peanut butter jars


Two of the best I’ve seen are:

“Not to be taken by pregnant people” – on a bottle of nausea pills
(People??? – hopefully they mean women)

“WARNING – Product may be sharp” – on a scissors’ packaging
(May be – speaks wonders about the sharpening process)

Those are good.
Here are a few I’ve seen.

I once got a combination ruler that listed “ always use safety glasses when using”
I have yet to come up with a way to lose an eye with a ruler.

A heavy duty weedeater blade “warning blade may be sharp”
I hope so.

And once I got a pack of fishing sinkers (the lead weights you put on the fishing line.) I forget the wording but basically that its not good to dispose of them in the water.
Hope the fish don’t break the line.

There's a small garage a town over from me that calims to be a "Domestic and import car specialist." :-)

On the other side of the coin... Years ago, I bought a pair of scissors for my daughters for their scrapbook. It was labelled “Children’s Hobby Scissors” with the usual colourful pictures etc…

Upon opening the packaging a finely honed pair of scissors (with rounded ends) were revealed. As these ‘hobby scissors’ were way too sharp, plastic ones promptly replaced them.

Today, even after spending years in the kitchen drawer (where they outlived two pairs of ‘red dot’ scissors), I use them to cut decals and they remain the sharpest scissors I’ve ever come across.

Nice, I'll remember that the next time I use my chain saw!

I love the Nytol one - As If..... :-)

On two different brands of potato chip bag a disclaimer below photo of chips:

Enlarged to show texture.

Did they really get a lot of complaints that the chips were not as big and perfect as the ones shown on the outside of the bag?

On some (wooden) toys I bought for my kids the only 'instruction/warning' was a 8 by 4 cm. label with ONLY the text: "Bewaar dit om het later nog eens te lezen"
English translation: "Save this to read again later"

Or a baby rattle with the safety notice: not for children under 3 years. OK?

Not sure if this is for real lol, but would be rather stupid.

Here's one for ya:
Some guy buys an RV and goes on a trip. On this trip, he reaches the highway and gets out of his seat to lounge in the cabin (duh). The RV promptly ends up in a ditch. The guy sues the RV company and wins(!). The RV company now has to put "Warning: do not leave driver's seat while driving" in the manual.
Kyle

Snowhand, well... She's a Hooters waitress...
Kyle, That one about the RV is great LOL!
I remember also I read about a warning of not putting a dog in to a microwave...

Me and G always laugh at the prescription drug ads on TV that present side effects that are potentially worse than the malady they are marketed to relieve. Especially the one that relieves " irritable bowel syndrome" with the side effect of stomach cramps!

Yeah, that sounds like a good trade! :-)

Cuhail

I'm actually waiting for a prescription drug that has the same side effects of the ailment it is supposed to cure. For example, "It's Balidex, the only perscription drug on the market proven to stop colds dead in their tracks and get you back to your routine. Side effects may be stuffy or runny nose, headaches, drowsiness, lack of energy, sneezing, coughing, and a sore throat. Symptoms were reported as mild and usually ended within 7 days.
Kyle

I just found this one. Its on a box of .308 shells.

WARNING: Discharging firearms in poorly ventilated areas, cleaning firearms, or handling ammunition may result in exposure to lead, a substance known to cause birth defects, reproductive harm, cancer and other serious physical injury. Have adequate ventilation at all times. Wash hands thoroughly after exposure.

Now what the heck? Adequate ventilation to fire a gun???
If your firing inside I think you have more problems then the lead.

My favorite one remains the warning on every cup of McDonalds coffee: Warning: Contents are Hot!.

Thank the lawyers for that one.

I still think stupidity should be painful....

We're already there. The Claymore mine has "front toward enemy" stamped on the face of the device.

http://www.af.mil/news/airman/0104/m-18a1.jpg

Offcourse! Who else is gonna buy those things on the Tel-Sell Channel?