Got this from a friend of mine, who knows I've got 3 kids who are giving me a hard time now and then; a precocious son of 10, even more precocious daughter of 7 and a little house-terrorist from 1.5 years old...

Like to share this with you all who have children in your lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the
first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.

"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have forbidden
fruit!!!!!"

"No Way!"

"Yes way!"

"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.

"Why"

"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God saw His children having an apple break and

He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked. "Uh huh," Adam
replied.

"Then why did you?" said the Father.

"I don't know," said Eve.

"She started it!" Adam said

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a
piece of cake for you?

THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!

1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes, but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO
WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"

This was a good one and I can definitaly relate...

I do have one comment though...

If Adam and Eve are God's children...then the fact that they together have kids is a bit disturbing...

Then again it may explain a few things... :-)

:-) :-) :-) :-)

LOL! Well that depends on where you are on history timeline and which cultural background you have.

But it DOES explain a lot!! :-) :-)

Hmmm, this is very True, VERY disturbing...... :-)8

I love it, and I will be passing it along. My first thought when seeing the subject "Why God created children" was, "To get the TV remote of course."

:-)




My oldest daughter couldn't speak until she was over 4 years old. Even then she had to go to speech classes until she was 12. The speech people said it was like a wire wasn't connected right in her brain. Since she stared talking she has barely shut up! My Father in law told us, "you're going to regret connecting that wire." Truer words were never spoke.

my brother came home last week with girlfreind "guess what dave your,e going to be a uncle!!!" "yeah do me a favour show me when its born then come back when its eighteen" said i. being told to say sorry seeing hes got the hump on big time

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

It get's worse if your child is a girl... believe me...

Henk, seeing as I have twin daughters, I’ll believe you! :-) :-)

INSANITY IS HEREDITARY!

You inherit it from your kids!! ! :-) :-) :-) :-)

A couple of bumper stickers i've read made me chuckle

"Retired and spending our childrens inheritance" on a motorhome

"Revenge yourself on your kids, live long enough to be a pain in the a$£ to them too!"
this one really amused me

Pete.

Twins, my god Eric you get it all in stereo...
Insanity would seem to be the human option... :-) :-) :-) .. I think think one ' I'm sorry daddy, i didn't mean to..' look is bad enough, just imagine two....
Don't you love daugthers?

Cheers
Henk

I've got three boo hoo ho, where's my money gone, what more shoes, etc, etc. Will the pain ever end :-)

Don't mention the shoes...

Three?.. you have my sympathy, you truly know the meaning of the word 'sacrifice'..

:-)