While we were in Kosovo, my buddy and I were put on a guard detail that had to guard one of the ranges just off of Bondsteel ( Falcon range) we were off on a far gate by a village ( I can't remember the name of it? ) for a couple of weeks it was all quiet cept for the kids visiting us and trying to get our water and MRE's when we heard gun shots, not just bang bang more like automatic gun fire in short bursts. we calmly took our battle rattle back from the kids that were playing around with it and continued to freak out ( we didn't know if we were being shot at or not?) so we called it in and later found out that there was a wedding going on and they were firing up in the air to celibrate it. Talk about a relief!!!!!!!

We used to do the same thing to newbie privates except we called it "looking for soft spots in the armor. During halts, we'd also tell them to check the shock absorbers on the tanks by jumping up and down on the fenders. We'd also tell them to check the radiator fluid and, after they'd opened all the grill doors on the back deck (M60A3) without finding a radiator cap, we'd suddenly remember that the engine was air-cooled.

I didn't really have any problems in basic. I went in with the attitude that it was going to be pure hell, and it never got as bad as I imagined it was going to get.

Probably the two scariest things that happened were things that happened to good friends of mine. One of my friends was hit by a van as he was crossing the street in front of our armory. He was injured pretty badly but survived mainly because he was wearing his kevlar and because the duffle bag he was carrying on his back absorbed a lot of the blow. It was weird because it felt like I was more shaken by him almost dying from gettting hit by a Dodge van than I would've been had he died from hostile fire.

The other scary moment came when another good friend's tank (he was the TC) had both of the final drives fail at the top of a very long, steep hill at Fort Hood. They rolled down the hill, backwards, for a good 200 meters or more, went airborne and landed in a creek. It took two '88s the better part of a day to pull them out. The crew was shaken up badly, but no serious injuries. The gunner tried to un-ass the tank halfway down the hill, but my friend and the loader jerked him back down in the turret. The worst injury was the driver who strained his back pretty badly from standing so hard on the brake pedal.

Lots of fun times. The one that immediately comes to mind is, near the end of one AT, a group of us loaded into a 113 and drove over to where our sister cav troop was coiled. We snooped in and around their perimeter setting off artillery simulators and hoffman charges in the middle of the night. We later stole some of the empty ammo cans and such that they had to turn in at the end of the AT. Our troop commander later "returned" it in front of the colonel at one of the meetings he attended.

Probaly the one thing that comes to mind is the time in BNOC at Camp Shelby Mississippi in 1993. We were running tank platoon lanes , rotating crew positions each run. It was my turn as driver,we were going along at a high rate of speed when we hit a "small" ditch . When the tank( M-60 A3 TTS) returned to mother earth , all i heard in my CVC was the screams of the gunner , the laughter of the loader and the cussing and swearing of the TC. Due to the impact of the treads hitting the ground and suffecent air time the TC was almost ejected and hit his elbow on the cupola upon landing . For those of you un-familiar with a M-60 the gunners seat is mounted on a metal post , well it broke on landing leaving only the post for the gunner to sit on. Well i'll put it this way he was "hit" in the "nether region" by the post .We were in the field for two more days ,and he sat on a bag of ice most of those two days . He fully recoverd . T T -13 OUT .

^That reminded me of another funny/sorta funny story.

I was TC-ing my tank once and I had a driver that had a tendency to "freelance" with his driving from time to time. We were approaching Cowhouse Creek when he gunned the engine about 30 meters from the water. While I was screaming at him over the intercom, we hit the water and the bow wave totally engulfed the front of the tank, pouring into the driver's hole. We kept moving, though and, when I looked down into the turret, water was a good six inches deep on the turret floor. Once we cleared the creek, I yelled at him to open the drain plugs and turn on the bilge pump and the water was gone pretty quickly. I was amazed that something didn't short out in the bottom of the turret or hull.

When I asked him why in the hell he pulled that stunt, he said that he was hot and wanted to cool off.

After finding a couple of small dead perch that had been left high and dry in the turret after the water had drained, I threatened him with great harm if the tank started to smell like dead fish because more had gotten trapped underneath the turret basket. Fortunately for him, no such smells emanated from the tank.

The beginning was really worse. When we arrived to the barracks we received the fresn-new uniforwms and went to the shower... There was the cold water only. Necessary to say -- it was a winter and some -25 (Celsius) outside.....

The funniest in the field? Ok. Maybe this:
We took the training mission against one of the military instalations. Our group's task was the forced entry through the base's checkpoint and "eleminating" the guardhouse. We took the positions and prepared to move. This moment the door at checkpointhouse opened and the dog jumped out. That was REALLY BIG dog. And it went to us... Then our machinegunned jumped from the bushes to that dog and fired something like half a linkbelt of blanks from his PKM GPMG... There was wall some 2-3 meter from that place. It was some 3,5-4 meters high. And it was the only time in my life I saw how the dog can run vertically... Of course, we went through that checkpoint successfully. Looking at athet dog sitting onto the top of the wall and crying nobody want to miss with us

The worse in the field? It was a winter, some -22-25... We went througt frozen lake by ski. I was the pointman. Suddenly I went under that ice! Completely -- with skis, ruck and all other equipment... The only thing I did -- spread my hands to the sides. I was lucky enough -- the hole in the ice was relatively narrow and my hands stay outside. The buddies pulled me out but I was completely wet... And it was in the middle of the lake -- some 1,5-2 klicks to the woods. The only way to stay alive was to run to the forest as fast as possible and then make a fire to dry the clothes and equipment and warm myself... It was really horrorable run. Sometimes I see it again in my nightmares.

Best regards.
Lis

At 17 I joined the Army National Guard and spent the summer before my senior year of high school at Ft. Sill, OK. We were on the firing range and were told to get in our fox holes. One private wouldn't get in his. The Drill Sgt. came running, screaming and raising hell and the private just points. There was a nice sized rattle snake curled up in the hole. The Drill Sgt just tells him "I wouldn't get there either, now beat your face". Which beat your face means knock out 20 push ups. Kid forgot to go to parade rest when the Drill Sgt. came over. I spent close to five years in the guard as a cannon cocker. I went active duty Air Force in '88.
I got to where I could color inside the lines so I couldn't go active Army :-) Tried to join the Marines, but couldn't pass the physical- Couldn't get my head in the jar :-) The Navy was right out. Don't like boats and didn't like 70's fashion (bell bottom pants) :-)

One funny moment in the Air Force was during this generation when I was in SAC. A generation is an exercise involving getting the aircraft loaded and prepped for war. We were loading up the FB-111 with AGM-69's ("special weapon", short range attack missile, no longer in the inventory). A young SP (security police) was guarding the perimeter of the aircraft. We're in the weapons bay, my Load Team Chief tells us to do what he does. He yells out "Oh S***! "and we take off running out of the bay. The poor SP almost pee'd his pants. He thought the missile was going to blow. We had a good laugh, and finished up the load. Remember, you can't spell stupid without SP. :-)

my friends and i went to the R.O.T.C. program in college in the Philippines (it's mandatory for all students actually except seminary school and the physically and mentally challenged) . Since we were all engineering students we were naturally assigned to the engenireeng brigade. While on a break during an excercise, one of friends remarked that we were lucky because we were engineers and that our jobs was just to build roads & bridges. When I told him the reason why we were being trained with the infantry and in demolitions and that the battalion we will be assigned to if we get recalled (52nd Eng) had a casualty rate marginally lower compared to other infantry battalions, he started getting pale. The next day, we found out that he was looking for a way to enter Utilities instead.

Few amusing incidents during my stint with INTERFET in East Timor - our Signals Detachment was attached to one of the infantry battalions for the tour. After dropping into Balibo via S-70(UH-60) we were required to help out clearing the town. Griffo, one of the Sig Det guys got into the spirit of things - kicking in doors left, right and centre. Unfortunately of of the doors came swinging right back, landing him flat on his arse. The grunts in the surrounding building couldn't figure out why we came out doubled over with laughter.
Our Det was evenually given a small four room house in which to stay - with no roof. The front room was also desgnated as the shower point for the echelon, much to our annoyance until we released that with the amount of females in the ech we could have some fun with this. Needless to say couple of days later we had all our shaving mirrors rigged and ready to go. Must have been quite a sight - four guys clustered around a small mirror as one of the female medics took a shower...
..things we do.......

we used to get recruits at the RCT depot sent down for a long stand which we made them do :-) or a tin of elbow grease,left handed screw driver,bubble for spirt level great fun!

got loads of great tale but many cannot be published here,

some of the funnist was on test ex in jnr ldrs or troop noc came to cs gas us we seen them coming and got our resi's on they light the rockets and start walking up behind the gas suddenly the wind turns and blows back at them they never had resi's on so had a nice dose of cs gas.
or finishing basic we all chipped in and had female jelly werstlers in and watching the lads get dragged in for a wrestle we were all bout 17/16 years old and onle of the lads getting a "bit excited" which afterwards he got called tiny that same night the ssm and sqn admin sgt dancing about in their shreddies,
one other one was at chrimbo our regt used to help out the local old people by getting the squaddies to buy them tinned food ect for xmas hampers we thought it would be dead funny to get adult mags and wrap them up and stick them in the hampers bet some old boys had a very merry christmas that year!

First time jump, We got woke nicely, walked to the mess hall, well fed ( I know soething was a foot). we geared up loading into a C-130, while boarding the jump gods were duct taping everybody at the knees. Guess what happen when you eat a big full breakfast and then static jump one hour later. Can we say oh what a smell.

Pilot was off course we all jumped and landed in a hornet nest (A group of very surpise moonshiners) we fired blanks they fired back (Missed everyone of us). It was a while before we made it back to our base. (HIC HIC HIC)

Worst Moments: Definitely Basic Training at Ft Knox Armor Training Center
Funniest Moments: In basic, again, one of the soldiers in another bay tossed his undershorts on the floor before his shower. He came back and jumped in his bunk, totally worn out from whatever he had done that day he was quickly asleep. I noticed his shorts had a HUGE brown racing stripe (this was before they issued brown undershorts). For some reason, I used a pencil and picked up his shorts and layed the nasty stripe right across his nose. Should NOT have done that. It took only a few seconds, and he had the most horrible look on his face, snatched the shorts off his face, and jumped up wild as a buck and lookin to kill. I was the first one he got hold of, naturally, and it was all I could do to keep myself from and a** whoopin.

Another incident in Baumholder Germany. One night during his guard duty, some soldier, and I think I knew which one, somehow slid a fresh turd up the gun tube of the batallion commanders tank. Batallion inspection was the next morning of course. I guess I dont need to tell just how mad the commander was, and how long the whole batallion was at attention the next day.

One friend of mine, who is presently training in the Navy told me this: One day they were practicing pass-in-review. While in ranks and in gala uniform, one mate got a call from nature...Now, the Drill Instructor wouldn't allow him to go, because the pratice was important. He was told to hold it in, and after a while, he can't take it any longer. He dropped his rifle and ran to the toilet, with a strange brown spot on his pants...The next day, that mate was the laughing stock of the whole academy....