I got another one for you.... Same place, Ft, Bragg only this time we are jumping with some German paras. Sometime before we load I get word that the bird were jumping is a C-141B.
I tell myself that we won't be doing any NAP flying and procede to down a good ol' Ham and Cheese omlette MRE, chasing it with some Cheese Nips and a 7UP. Well we board the plane and shortly, like 5 mins up, we get the word were going NAP (Near As Possible AKA Nausea AND Puking) on our approach. The German kid sitting across from me looks about 17-18 years old. I'm trying to keep from hurling all over the place, but it isn't going to work. I manage to get my barf bag out and promptly fill it. At this point I have chunks of ham and cheese stuck in my nose and nowhere to blow then so I decide to unload on the top of my helmet. This sends the young kid across from me over the edge and he loses it too. I fish around for my canteen to rinse my mouth out and once done, I tell my buddy Phil who is on my right to hold my canteen while I open the pouch back up. The whole time he doesn't know I have been puking, and takes along pull off the canteen. He looks over he sees the puke bag and goes green immediately. I tell him not to worry, that I didn't actually put my mouth on the canteen and just poured water in my mouth. He buys it and all is good. The rest of the flight goes well. Once on the ground I see the young German kid again running past with a big grin on his face.......He points at me smiles and yells "Airborne!!" and gives me the thumbs up. A very memorable jump for me.... "Q"
ps. Also bombed Salt Lake City Utah with 3 full bags of puke once they opened the doors for us, but thats another story... heh heh

Loved my redlegs, especially my four-deuce section when I was with the cav.

Scariest thing that ever happened to me was as a result of a NYNG 4.2". They were firing at Ft.Dix and had a stuck round in the tube; they decied to blow the tube. They must have used too much C-4, though, and didn't do much to ensure that those in the surrounding training areas were informed of ths. I was driving a quarter-ton with my platoon cadet when it blew. nearly blew us off the road. When I got back to our bivouac site, we found out that some of the shrapnel from the tube/round flew into our bivouac. Top had a nice one-inch chunk fly right past his ear. *7%$^# New Yorkers!

In my first unit, the battalion CSM and all the first sergeants came from the two BCT battalions that were inactivated when the 5th ID was reactivated at Ft. Polk in 75-76. I was standing in the chow line with my comapny commander and the other LTs when the Battalion Commander came along and stood at the end of the line. Well a few minutes or so later along comes the CSM and a couple of first sergeants (in the BCT units they could cut the line), as they began to open the screen door my old first sergeant happened to look down the chow line, and noticed the man with the silver oak leaves on his hat at the end of the line. They tried to graciously "recover", closed the door and walked to the end of the line. Made our day.

When I was a scout platoon leader, we still had company mess sections, which were consolidated at batlalion. Wy platoon sergeant and I made sure we took care of our senior cook. My NCOs constantly returned from the mess in the field with extra eggs, bread, large containers of kool-aid, coffee, etc., which we made into midnight snacks.

"Out Front"

We had a BC like that. He was cured of the habit when the range went hot and my company commander (a complete nitwit who couldn't shoot to save his soul from damnation) sent three sabot rounds in a row into the same target group the BC was fooling around in. I thought his jeep was a low-flying helicopter, coming up the road! I've never actually seen a M151 fly, except that once. His driver couldn't decide whether to crap or cry, and he sat in the jeep for about 30 minutes after they pulled up by the range tower. The really sad thing was that my CO missed all three shots, with one of the better gunners in the company. And on Table VI, a stationary table with stationary targets...

Ah, mortarmen, God, how they can get in trouble What being the only infantrymen in a 550 man tank battalion. I had a mortar platoon in my combat support company in Baumholder, Germany. They were good and they were quick, sometimes too quick:

I pulled up yo the mortar firing point at Graf and found a pile of fire extinguishers next to the fire plotting cell at the M577. "Sir, we need all these refilled.", states the platoon sergeant. "Why", I ask. "Well sir, we had to put out that fire over there." he said pointing about 25 meters in front of the firing position. The mortars had been firing a smoke mission when a Willie Pete (White Phosphorous) round came out of the tube, traveled about 25 meters, buried itself in the dirt and tall grass, waited a few seconds, giving the crews time to duck, then the round detonated. It took every fire extinguisher to put out the fire. The ammo man had forgotten to remove the extension from the base of the round and the propellant failed to fully detonate, sending the round just far enough to arm the fuze

Having worked all the positions in a 4.2" mortar crew in my Armor Officer Basic Course, there are mulitple things that all must go perfectly for the round to get to the target.

I guess the worst time I had in basic was waking up 3 days into it and realizing it was NOT a nightmare. :-) and the heat at FT. Knox from Sept-June is miserable. The most memorable moment was when I was on a east german border patrol in 1987 and came face to face at about 50 yards with a Soviet soldier. Everybody on the patrol was quiet shocked and excited. He just set there looking at us, and us him. He was dressed in the standard Russian winter outfit caring a AK. Quiet exciting to say the least.

Anthony

It was summer at Ft. Knox in 1968, basic training with E-13-4. We were on the rifle range learning how to use our M-14's. One of the guys just did not get the hang of it and could not seem to hit the 25 meter target. Our DI walked up to him, picked up a rock and threw it. The rock bounced off the target. The DI just looked at the guy. It made an impression on us. I also remember the guards on the lister bags in the fields. We all were so thirsty that they wound up putting guards on the guards. That was back when water discipline was a big thing. I always had problems with that left right left thing.

Reading this stuff in the clean room on a slow afternoon it's hard to keep from laughing my mask off at all this! Wonderful stories, guys. Wish I had one really worthy of mention, but I'll add my decidedly lowbrow stories anyway. I was Army ROTC in 1982-82, but didn't go on to get a commission. I did do ROTC Basic at Knox, B-13-4. One of my most vivid memories is of M16 target practice on the 50-250 meter pop-up range. As alluded to by others, hot and humid as hell--and I am both left handed and wear glasses. I qualified that day as Expert Marksman; God knows how. I had spent brass dropping on my right arm and burning it, and I could scarcely see for the FOG on my glasses. Between sweat and ambient moisture I was nearly blind most of the time.

I also remember the arrival day. I live in Oregon. Family had been in Hawaii on vacation just before I left for Basic. Home about 18 hours, then redeye flight to Cincinnati an on to Knox. Across five time zones, bewildered and confused as only a cadet can be, kept up until all hours being barked at by DIs. Oh, how I wanted sleep...too bad, I'm at the beginning of the alphabet. Fire Guard that first night at 0230...Welcome to the Army!

On a lighter note, a friend of mine a couple of years ahead in school commissioned in Field Artillery and was assigned to the Oregon Guard while finishing school at OSU (GO BEAVS!!). He invited me on a live fire exercise at Yakima with the arty compones of 41st Infantry Brigade. I was a fish out of water, looked kinda like an officer but wasn't one. Didn't bother my buddy's platoon sergeant, who decided to cultivate me for this trip as an antidote (read babysitter) to a particularly brain-dead Sp.4. Sergeant used his native cunning to ensure I was treated like an officer by his troops (reinforcing his authority) and as a regular troop when it came to chow and perks. I got the best of both worlds, and I kept the usually inept specialist out of trouble the whole weekend. Obviously it was worth it for the Sergeant. I also got to call fire for the first and only time that trip. There we were, up on the ridge with our lawn chairs and cooler full of Cokes, calling down 105s on abandoned refrigerators and other detritus. I could just hear the gunners getting all excited when I got into the spirit of it all, lied to them shamelessly, and said "Up 50! Fire for effect! Target is infantry in the open!"
Greg

I also attended ROTC Basic at Knox. I think I was in the same company, about 14 years earlier... I can still remember 2 things like it was yesterday.

One day about 2 or 3 weeks into the cycle I thought I had done everything right. Bunk was perfect, shoes shined... etc. Well, out Drill was inspecting while we were out front information. All of a sudden I heard this bellow "Cadet Mertz. get you sorry ass in here!" I ran in, all the way up to third floor to see what horrible sin I had committed. Well, it seems that dust bunnies had gathered UNDER my low quarters! I had, of course, not moved them for a week at least, keeping them shined and perfect. The Drill thought it was funny, actually and just chewed me a little, but I sure checked those damn shoes every day thereafter!

The second thing was that at the end of the cycle some jerk from another platoon stole the guidon from another company, causing an uproar, making me miss my plane... but my luggage made it! So I had to sleep in a hotel room then wear my worn in clothes and underwear on the plane home the next day.

Anyone else remember the hill called Agony??

Misery and Agony, and lets not forget Heartbreak as you head out towards the .50 caliber range. Those are hills I will never forget. I decided while going through ANCOC to run the two biggees. I made it at a somewhat snailish pace, but did finish running them. It was more of a gut check for me than for the benefits of running....... lol
I guess I tell my last jumping story I hinted at before.
Every year the 82nd Airborne has their annual re-union some where in the country. This particular year it was held in Salt Lake City Utah. There were 700 of us jumpers loaded into 9 or 10 C-141B's andwe were going on a nice 7 hour flight for our intended DZ of New Jordan airport for a nice hollywood jump in daylight conditions for the veterans and familys to watch. At 2 hours out we got the news that we were going in low-level, and so the nausea began. The rest of the flight was upand down while we tried to donn our chutes and not know the crap out of each other while doing it. Being a jumpmaster has its perks, such as walking around and looking out the window and geting some fresh air. This particular time there was no such luxury for me. I walked around, looked out the window AND got some air, but it didn't help. I filled 3 bags to max capacity. When the birds finally leveled out and the Loadmaser yelled over to me "ARMY, YOUR DOOR!!" it was bombs away on SLC.
We exited the birds in 3 passes into extremly high winds. We put 230+ jumpers in the air that day and sent 100+ to the hospital and the rest airlanded at the airport. I landed in the middle of a housing area that was being built and plowed a few arcres of terra frma before I could get myself free from my chute. I witnessed one of the most god-aweful impacts of my life. A guy came in about mach 4 and went full on into the side of an ambulance.....he totalled it I found out later. Funny thing is, all he got out of it was a broken leg.
The winds that day were 26-28 knots gusting to 30. We aren't supossed to jump anything over 13 knots, but in division there wasa saying, "If its a show its a go" so we went. Once I cleared myself of all the dirt and stuff packed into my nose and ears, I had a guy run up to me with a gym bag full of ice and beer....let the party begin... lol. No fatalities, or major injuries, and for the most part, we all made the jump back into Ft. Bragg at 0200 four days later. "Q"

Well, not really the funniest or worst memory... but my best memory of service was detting for three weeks in Varna, Bulgaria in 1999 and being involved in an exercise with the Bulgarians and other surrounding countries. Local papers complained near the end of our stay that the U.S. visitors had drank nearly all the beer and ate all the pizza (no kidding!).

At the equivalent of 15 cents a bottle, we couldn't resist. We flew on top a Kilo and flew against OSAs and Konis. All we train for, but rarely if ever see.

It was a nice 3 week det during the Kosovo flying we were doing back then that spring/summer. No one I graduated college with in '93 can ever come close to such stories...

Again, basic training at Fort Knox, Ky during 1968. A somewhat overweigh recruit had made some mistake that brought the attention of the DI. The DI had him run around the barracks shouting "I am a great big fat poo-poobird" over and over. Yup, you guessed it already. I couldn't hold back a stiffled laugh. Without ever turning around the DI shouted at me to chase him and shout "I eat great big fat poo-poobirds" over and over. It was a sight, him running and shouting "I am a great big fat poo-poobird" and me chasing him shouting "I eat great big fat poo-poobirds".

I got one of our new privates on a "newbie tanker joke"

I had him down at the end of the gun tube and told him that we had to replace the elevation pin (no such thing) and that his only job was to keep the gun tube from falling. We told him that if the tube dropped too far, we would deadline the turret. My gunner and I went inside with the new elevation pin (skirt pin) and prepped to replace. We dropped the pin for effect, and started manually depressing the gun, all the while screaming "HOLD IT, OH SH*T, DONT LET IT DROP!!!!"
The poor guy pushed up as hard as he could while we were depressing the gun (no win battle) and was about to fall over when the Commander, who had overheard the screaming, ran over and started pushing too......It was hilarious!!!!! A new private, and a Company commander all in one.

John

I was second in command of a support company with both mortar and anti-tank units.

Some day, at the mortar shooting range, we did a "rapid fire" using 120mm phosphor grenades. We shot 12 grenades in the rapid fire drill. After 3 minutes or so the radio started to sqeak and in never stopped since.

From the 12 grenades we shot, 4 came withing 25 meter from a civilian railroad with a train passing by...... Never seen so much brass together in such a short time...

Another "fun" part was the TOW shooting demo in Bergen-Hohne (Germany). Some Generals and Cols from different nations had joined to watch a TOW demo.

When they fired the missile it traveled for about 1000 meters, went up....and came straight back at us......... Ever seen a General fully dressed up......with mud dripping out off every opening his body had to offer ??? I did
:-)

Well,

Glad to see other armies have such excitement. Ittakes the pressure off the rest of us

SABOT had posted earlier a story about driving past ‘little white poles’ in the Iraqi desert. I found a couple pictures of what those little poles could have done to his HMMWV. I posted them in the MSN group photo albums in parts is parts and here are very small thumbs to make you check out the larger pictures there.




Dave

I had this one big guy in my gun crew at a training camp in the woods who refused to use plastic cover bags for the eating can. He said it had something to do with his principles about not using any use-and-throw-away stuff.
This resulted in a situation that he didn´t eat because it was so hard to wash the can properly in the woods in the winter (sometimes our drinking water was freezed as well).
So in three days he was very weak and dehydrating and his lips were so dry they were bleeding and he couldn´t carry his guarding shifts, whining all the time etc. so basically it was more work and less sleep for the rest of the crew.
That´s one guy I wouldn´t like to have next to me if it came to real action....


Toni

Funniest moment, in hindsight, was when my drill sergeant told me he knew what I did for a living. Drill Sergeant Perez said" I know what you did...you killed cockroaches for a living (by stomping them to death) 'cause you sure can't march!"
Another funny episode included alcohol..a girl..her boyfriend..me insulting her and getting thrown down a flight of stairs at a motel in Anniston, Al. I don't know if it would be so funny if I could remember it clearly.

#:-) And Then there was the time in North Dakota, SAC installation, In the middle of no where that also resembled a Gover compound, Because they also lived there, And so some of the guys would catch one or two and paint thjier backs with green or white paint...
I don't know, I guess they thought it was funny... And then thier was the time That i actually witnessed a couple of those gofers run out into the middle of hiway traffic, One in each lane facing thier own on coming traffic, And commit suicide. I never did get that one, I know, Gross but odd. Go figure.

Dagger-1

This is funny you had a hell of a time in their.

I've had quite a good time in my 8 years as a Recon Marine, 4 years as a Army Light Infantryman in Alaska, and currently as a full-time National Guardsman. Sure, there were some downright miserable times, especially nights in the jungle with all kinds of creepy-crawlies all around, but overall, I enjoy the military lifestyle and the people I have served with. I remember one of the times I was at 29 Palms, we were on our way to the demo range and we pulled off the side of this trail so a column of M1 Abrams tanks could pass by. Well, we very rarely got to see our armor up close, so I stood up in our Humvee to take a few pictures so I could use them as references for building models. This one crew decides to pose for me as they were passing by. Since they were paying more attention to posing than what was going on ahead of them, they didn't notice the tank in front of them coming to a halt and whamo!, they ran into that tank. During that same trip to 29 Palms, I was the Morale NCO and was reading the stories out of a dirty magazine. Having experience as a public speaker for various events and having taken drama in school, I had everyone laughing out loud as I made up voices and stuff. Unknown to me, the Chaplain and our CO were standing at the door of our A Frame. The Chaplain commented on my speaking ability and theatrical performance and that got everyone laughing even harder.
When I was stationed in Alaska, I was the Senior RTO in the company and became pretty close friends with my CO. We both had a similar sense of humor and it was actually fun going in everyday. Well, one day I thought I would hook him up when he went to battalion one afternoon for a meeting. You see, my CO usually had a belt buckle on that wasn't subdued. He was a great CO, he just seemed to have a hard time keeping his belt buckle black. Anyway, our Sergeant Major was a stickler for being in the proper uniform in garrison. I made an "anonimous" (SP?) call letting the CSM in on the approaching captain who was out of uniform. When my CO passed by the CSM's office, the CSM asked my CO if he could see his belt buckle. You should have seen my CO's face. It was hilarious. However, after that, the practical joke war was on, so I had two sets of uniforms. One for regular day to day duties, and one especially for trips to battalion.
There have been alot more great times, but I'll quit now to save some space for others.


James O'Leary
Former Recon Marine, Arctic Light Infantryman, and Current AGR Operations Assistant for HHC 2D BN 112th AR, TXARNG

To makeup for my last post. well we are in Korea and the PlT Sgt. and driver are trying to cross the river in a Gama goat well the driver is trying to tell him that the darn river is moving to fast Monsoon rain season he says he don't give a *hit take the *ucking thing across the river the driver pulls into the river. Can you guess what happened next. You got it the gama goes under water water pouring in the back the motor dies the bilge pump doesn't work well here come two wet people trying to swim to shore as the river is trying to take them with it the goat goes floating down river allmost submerged. we are trying to get ropes to them and we got them thank God on that one never did find the goat though. Yellow sea I think I wonder if it still floating around somewhere.

Another one we are in basic well this guy keeps on steeping on my boots I tell him to get in step he just can not for the love of him do it. So one day enough is enough I turn pop him in the mouth he tries to hit me the DI is all over use having us doing imaginary chairs and push up postion until we drop that kind of thing. And he says that from now on we are to be buddies he sees him he wants to see me and me him. Okay this worked out pretty cool as we had a lot of good times together Mcgee was his name.

I've been thinking of this one for awhile... trying to come up with a few cases over my approximately 12 years US Army.

Worst:

Was probably getting covered with tick and chigger bites during an FTX at Ft. Hood TX. (I was the only one in the Battalion from 'up north' and evidently those little buggers just loved that strange, fresh Massachusetts Yankee blood in me.) This was 1976 and on top of both ears blocking up due to all the live firing going on, I was one miserable trooper.

Funniest: (two-way-tie)

A) Someone on Ft. Polk LA 'misplaced' a .45 cal M1911. The whole post was put on alert while we were on FTX. We were ordered to stand inspection (in the middle of the night) with our weapons, boots and steel pots. Those (most) of us that were in our tents sleeping showed up in our underwear (army issue white boxer shorts) for formation for weapon accountability. What a sight that was. That was the summer 1972.

B) July 1989. Flying from Keflavic (sp) Iceland to Isofourdur (sp) Iceland in the Brigade Co's chopper with a number of female Admin types on board, when our 'wing man' came buzzing by us with his crew chief pressing his bare 'moon' up against the plexi on the side doors. I was in the gunner's well with one of the women sitting next to me. She thought that was quite funny, and when I turned to see If the General was looking, I noticed that he was sound asleep.

Thanks,
Kevin Keefe
Mortars in Miniature

We are in the field at Ft Sill. Okay my bud Barry tells me the next day he was taking a crap last night and reached down cause he felt the seat was wet. He says I put my hand up to smell guess what it was I rolled and he chased me all around trying to kick my *ss. goosh those were the times.
Another one we are in Ft Rucker in the field Rob my bud wears dog collars to keep the chigger bites down well it is summer Hot. but Rob is also the fuel tank driver so a mixture of diesel and dog collars have his legs swelled like two balloons had to send him back for 2 days to hospital. Bad time on that one.