Back after a nice time away to collect my thoughts. Tried the Airbrush From Hell again with some of the advice I got over the forums. Thanks again, but still no joy. Here are the pictures so I can show you guys what's going on.
The left half of this shot is Vallejo thinned with rubbing alcohol. At least it adhered to the primer (reliable Testors enamel spraycan), but it looks like it sprays in GIANT flakes, which is how every Vallejo color I bought seems to dry, assuming it will spray at all and stick to the model, which is a very rare occurrence.

In the middle is Vallejo thinned with distilled water and a drop of dish soap. It sprayed okay, but as you can see, the paint is freckled pretty severely. There is absolutely NO evenness to the coats it lays down and the overspray is tremendous; as I sprayed over that little circle, the paint reached and passed the rightmost post (an air vent maybe? Sorry I don't know the complete anatomy of an AAVP

).

The leftmost spray in this shot is by far the best spray I've gotten from the Revolution, but frankly that single patch is not worth the time, money, effort, effect on my blood pressure, etc. to me. On the right is where I tried that "rocker-trigger" technique I talked about earlier. Again, an uneven coat that would take forever to sloppily cover that hatch, let alone the entire freaking model.

A quick comparison shot: in the foreground is a Yak-1B, handpainted with Testors enamels. In the middle is a BTR-70 sprayed with Testors enamels using a single-action siphon-feed Badger brush. In the back is my truly fantastic AAVP-7A1 with its abomination of a paint job using Vallejo acrylics through an Iwata Revolution. If I can find the patience to make masks for the AAVP, then I'll probably break out the Badger and spray the Toxic-Testors, otherwise I'd like to take a stab at handpainting again. Maybe Vallejo's Model Air can be handpainted, since it obviously isn't meant to be sprayed.

