Hi lads, I wondered. Do any of you suffer from Combat Stress from your time in the military. Well I do, and its like living a horror story, I'll tell you why.
When my regiment was sent to Bosnia in 1992 as part of the UN Peacekeeping force, I saw a lot of horrors there that I never thought that I would see in Europe again. One night we had to evacuate this township of Bosnian Muslims which was under attack by the Croats. This place was like Armageddon, flames everywhere, explosions and everything else.
During this evacuation, we organised buses and trucks to evacuate the people, mostly women and children. The column of refugees came towards us and I spotted this little girl with her mum. This girl was about 4, and she was absolutely terrified. I gave her a bar of chocolate out of my ration pack and gave it to her. She took it out of my hand, and in doing so she dropped her doll. I bent down to pick the doll up and suddenly a shot rang out. I looked up and the little girl's head was practically blown off by a sniper's bullet. I was screaming to my men to flush out the sniper,and screaming for medics as well. There was nothing to be done for this little girl, and I still blame myself for this. Because of my kindness a little girl was murdered. Sometimes I wish that the bullet had hit me, I at least had my helmet and flack-jacket on and I might have surrvived. I live with this everynight in my dreams.
I'm now getting help for the Combat Stress through an Armed Forces Charity called "Combat Stress". And I attend a place called Hollybush House which deals with ex-servicemen with this problem, and I attend there twice a year for a week at a time, and I get therapy.
Sorry to have burdened you guys with this. But do any of you suffer from Combat Stress, either from the Gulf Wars, Vietnam or Northern Ireland. Maybe we can chat and help each other out.
Thanks for listening.
Scott

Scott: When I read your post it truly brought a lumb to my throut. I spent 27 years in the service and never saw anything worse than a blister, so I don't pretend to understand how you must feel. I only offer my prayers for you and the rest who have served so faithfully under much worse conditions than mine and my hope that someday PTS/combat stress will only be a footnote it some medical journel. Bless you and best of luck sir.

Thanks Anthony for your kind words. Unfortunatley combat stress will always hit some servicemen and women. During WW1 Combat Stress was treated as cowardice by the British Army and soldiers were shot for it.
I'm sure that a lot of your Vietnam Vets have the same problems, but I think that your government takes better care of their Vets than the UK Government, who don't give a damn about us.
Cheers Anthony, hopefully we can chat some more about this.
Scott

I suppose some care is better than no care, and that we have made some progress since Gen. Patton’s slapping “cowards and shirkers” and having them sent back to the front.
These wounds are just as real as physical ones, but easy to discount because they are not visible.
I am shocked, disappointed and think that your government should be ashamed that it doesn’t even try to take care of its service personnel.
Society or culture places such a stigma on mental illness though, that even when it is acknowledged, weather it is minor and transitory or severe and disabling, compassion is rarely and sparingly applied.
I think that part of the reason for this is the lack of effective care. Even if money was dumped on the problem results would be hard to come by. Here in the US millions are raised and spent primarily by the pharmaceutical industry in research and development that has produced little more than behavior modification medication, that does little or nothing to heal or even alleviate symptoms. Many medications actually further harm the patients health. Therapy and counseling are not much better, often served out as if the lack of healing is the patients fault.
I do hope that a recent or active service member will comment on the current state of care and what the military and veterans administrations current actions are.

Dear Scott,

I have no real reason to post a forum here because I have never served in the armed services. Scott you can't blame yourself for her death. I don't pretend to know what your going through but I don't, you went beyond the call of duty when helping someone you never knew. Scott I am sure there are people out their who pray every night blessing you for you and your mens bravery. I thank you as a representative of a group at my school. Thank you so very much for your bravery, and compassion.
Sincerely Jerry Hogan

I won't pretend to know what you're going thorugh, no one can but you. But I saw my share of combat in Viet Nam; and my share of horrors there. I saw children with bombs strapped to them forced at gunpoint into a group of GI's. I watched a friend step on a 155mm shell rigged as a mine and simply disappear in the explosion. Of the 28 of us that operated in our teams only 6 of us came home.I still see their faces, and the faces of the ones whose lives I took. I was nineteen then and I still see it as if it were yesterday. But in the years that followed my time there I've come to understand that war is the insanity of sane men. You can't undo the past, just make every day you have count for the ones that can't and for that little girl. It's not your fault. It's war and in war there are two maxims. 1: In war the innocent will die. 2: you can't change rule number 1.
I made peace with ghosts years ago. You will have to find a way to do the same. If I can help'please write. God's speed
Jerry

Hi Jerry thanks for your kind words. The tour of Duty in Bosnia was with the UN, the previous year I was involved in Gulf War 1 and I was fine with that, that is what I trained for. But Bosnia was a different ball game. We were not allowed to fire back, unless we were fired upon first. If a Serb or Croat soldier opened fire on us, we first had to radio regimental headquarters and they in turn had to ask the UN Representative, which was a load of bull, if you excuse my language. I used my initiave and I often opened fire, usually just to warn them off. You don't argue with a 40mm Cannon. Also in Bosnia the amount of mass graves that we came across was terrible. I am a British Soldier not an SS man. I'm not trained for that, thank god.
Take care Jerry and keep in touch.
Scott

Scott
I'm no0t sure there is a way to train a decent human being to accept what you saw and had to do. The mere fact that it does bother you reinforces the knowledge that you are a decent person. Remember that and take that with you wherever you go.I've had the chance to talk to a few of our vets coming home from Iraq. I think it helps us both to know that we're not alone in what we feel and what we saw and had to do.
" How many gentle souls have we torn apart, how many lives have we shattered and ended? And how many more will we do this to before this insanity is ended? All I know is that war is the insanity of sane men."
over heard from a Marine Corps general as he surveyed a marine fire base that had been over run.
Jerry

Dear Scott:

First off I must say that it takes a LOT OF GUTS for you to open up and have the courage to share this particular moment of your life with us. I am also a combat vet (Grenada 1983) that has suffered from PTSD since 1984 and have seen the horrors of war like you, and have lost close friends to death in a split second.

I can relate to your pain, anger, blame, guilt, and the issues that you mention, as I too, carried the same burden for over 12 years before I was able to put things into perspective and try to move foward. Granted the stress and related problems took a big part of both my military and civilian life away, there is not a day that goes by that I don't think of my friends that died and see their faces, as that moment in time will be FOREVER FROZEN and we will all still be "20 YEARS OLD & BULLETPROOF", or so we thought at the time.

I try to maintain a quiet life style as much as possible, and just enjoy things for what they are, I was blessed in 2001 with a GREAT SON ADAM and feel that being lucky enough to "survive" the trauma of war and be here for him is the best medicine in the world. All of the medals and awards I received doesn't hold a candle to him when he just says "DADDY, I LOVE YOU" for no particular reason, other than that being the only thought on his mind at that precise second in time. Granted, he's 5 y/o going on 40, but he is why I continue forward and never give up. I still remember my friends every October 25-26, and lift a drink in their honor and will continue to do so for the rest of my life.

I wish you GODSPEED and ALL THE BEST always, please feel free to drop me a line if you ever need or want to talk.

With Respect,

ABD (Gary)

Scott -

I am sorry that you had that experience. You are not alone. Seeing comrades fall is one thing, but seeing civilians hurt or killed is another thing, particularly the children.

For me, I think those expereinces helped me be a better father to my children and to work to help other kids who might be in need.

Again, I am sorry you had to have that experience. I have found that one never forgets those kinds of events. I recommend you seek out someone you can talk to about it...over and over again if need be. I found that it helped when I embraced what happened and accepted it as an unfortunate but very important part of my life experiences. When I turned the trauma into a force for good within me, my healing began. Now, I never want to forget.........although I must admit that I would gladly have passed through this life without that trauma.

Semper Fi,
Dave (Whiskey6)

Dear Scott,

I am pretty sure all of us here are glad to help you. I really have a deep and great respect for all of you. You all show a great amount of courage and compassion. I am glad you all have opened my eyes to the real effects of war, I just wish everyone could see this. I thank you all for your contributions.

Hi J Hogan thanks for your kind words. Like all soldiers we all stick together, I think that's what makes a difference for us, to share our experiences of war and such. We help each other out and that's whats important. I'm sure the other ex-servicemen here would agree with me.
Thanks mate
Scott

Hey Scott. I think there's a small distinction you need to remember between combat stress (what you undergo at the time you're in combat) and post traumatic stress (which you can experience, days, months or even years later).

I saw heavy combat for about seven consecutive months during my time in the Army here in SL. As you might know, it's a very dirty war and I saw stuff that's not fit for repetition in this forum. After I left the Army (15 years ago) I never sought any help for the occasional bad dreams and guilt trips I had. I never gave it much thought, and the SL Army's not really bothered about ex-soldiers the way western armies are. Lately, however, my fits of anger, aggression and general irresponsibility (which I thought was just part of my personality ) have been put down at least in part to PTS. Well this stress is partially responsible for the breakdown of my marriage and the loss of my son (he lives with his mother on the other side of the world). But even now I find it very hard to seek help for this problem (if indeed there is any).

So I know how you feel, and I suggest you find someone understanding to talk to about this.

Hi David, thanks for your reply. I am getting help through a Charity called Combat Stress which helps ex-servicemen and women cope and help with combat stress. The British Government just dumps us on the scrap heap after we come out the service, so its Charities like Combat Stress and SSAFA. I've been getting the help for over a year now, and it helps, I go there twice a year for a week at a time.
Take care David
Scott

Dear Scott,

I am so glad to here that you have gotten help. I have known a couple of war vets and they have had trouble sleeping and talking about their experiences, I am happy for you Scott. Best of luck!

A land fit for hero's?

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article1899458.ece

Craig

I am one of those who's wounds are not visible. I just lost a good job due to it, It would have been ok, but they should have never gotten in my face. During my interview i told them my only pet peet is do not ever getting into my face. I did not hurt anyone, but the anger and rage was there. I walked away from it. My best meds is my 2006 honda 750 shadow aero. My wife of 31 years understands when i call from places.

I haven't suffered anything but that is because when I was on duty, I didn't really see anything that horrific. My dad has PTSS though from the Gulf, he wont tell me about it but I respect that. He can no longer look at images or footage of the First Gulf war or else he starts shaking or rocking his head. Its weird, but that is what war does to people I guess.

I have done 3 tours in Iraq, the last one in Baghdad at the height of the "Surge". Baghdad is a rough place, I've seen more executed Iraqi civilian bodies than any person should have to (I was an MP, our mission was to train Iraqi Police and we spent a lot of time patrolling with them in East Baghdad.) The worst thing was losing a good friend and soldier to an EFP strike, along with two members of my squad being maimed in the same attack. I was the mission leader that night and the images of my friends injuries will never fade. There is help for those who need it (in the U.S. military at least), go to a site called ArmyOneSource.gov, there are literally dozens of links to direct you to all kinds of help.

Idaho Police Officer Standards and Training Academy slogan

"Don't suffer from PTSD, go out and cause it."

Not enough PTSD in Idaho huh?

http://www.iht.com/articles/ap/2007/12/25/america/NA-GEN-US-Police-Academy-Slogan.php

That was the class slogan for only one graduating academy class.....as it states in the article.

It is not a blanket slogan for the Idaho State Police. It was only printed on the graduation programs.....and obviously the management in the State Police aren't impressed.

I was in Bosnia in '03, keeping the peace. We were still finding mass graves there and tons of weapons and ordnance stashed any and everywhere. Our small FOB was near Srebrenica and we went to the battery factory often (7,000 or so were massacred there). We had some "hairy" moments but overall the only fatality was in a vehicle accident. It's still go to stay in touch and shoot the breeze with those who were with you. You don't go or fight for flag and all that, you do it for your bros. I think most of US troops are out of Bosnia now, hope it wasn't in vain.