Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.



A fine is a tax for doing wrong; a tax is a fine for doing well.



He who laughs last thinks slowest.



Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.



A day without sunshine is - well - night.



Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.



Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.



The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.



It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.



If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.



The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.



Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.



Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.



The shin bone is a device for finding furniture.



When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

:-)

• Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
• If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
• The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm.
• The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
• An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
• Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. Great discoveries are made by mistake.
• Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
• Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
• All's well that ends.
• A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
• The first myth of management is that it exists.
• A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
• New systems generate new problems.
• To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
• We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
• Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
Arthur C. Clark
• A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
• Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
• Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.
• The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
• To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
• After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
• Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
• A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
• If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
• Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
• .Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
• Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
• If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
• The more cordial the buyer's secretary, the greater the odds that the competition already has the order.
• In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
• Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. And scratch where it itches.

Here's some more

roso.epfl.ch/dm/murphy.html

There`s never enough time to do a job properly.But there`s always enough time to do it again.

Murphy's Military Laws

Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than you are.
No battle plan ever survives contact with the enemy.
Friendly fire ain't.
The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.
The problem with taking the easy way out is that the enemy has already mined it.
The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.
The further you are in advance of your own positions, the more likely your artillery will shoot short.
Incoming fire has the right of way.
If your advance is going well, you are walking into an ambush.
The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.
If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.
The only time suppressive fire works is when it is used on abandoned positions.
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.
There is nothing more satisfying that having someone take a shot at you, and miss.
Don't be conspicuous. In the combat zone, it draws fire. Out of the combat zone, it draws sergeants.
If your sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.

Just remember, Murphy was an optimist.

If it can't go wrong it will go wrong and at the most detrimental moment.

Dave S.

In reference to Monte's Military Murphies.

I have a friend who teaches at the US War college. He says.

If you get a class room full of light and full bird colonels together, the first thing that happens is they all start acting like 2nd Lieutenants with maps.

Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules

The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.

Being a service electrician, I'll say amen to that.

"Fear is the gas pedal of life"

quote - me.....