WORLD CUP FOOTBALL - LIST OF TV RULES


Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend,

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won’t happen.

5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.

10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Nice one Dave...

i already told the wife to use the room upstair with the small TV... yeah..the TV is mine... no more telenovela at the living room

already warn her about my friend that will come over to join ...

My SWMBO likes watching football, though I'm not sure that it would beat Coronation Street (which is my fault for introducing it to her)

It's programmes featuring military history that she finds annoying.....

for the record, my wife only watch soccer during world cup...she can also memories the player....

i did noticed that most of them would watch and knew the soccer star very well...


WC is a big event in Malaysia...

Lol Brilliant list

Luckily for the rest of the family we happen to have 2 TV's , So mother and the Sisters can watch their usual sentimental rubbish and my dad and I can look to the really important stuff. Even better I work at home during the World Championship and the second TV is right next to my work area so I will not be missing a single second of the World Championship.... Also the matches of the Dutch (orange) team will be watched with all my friends in the local bar on big screen. Let's see how far we come this time under the coaching of Marco van Basten.

From now until (hopefully!) the middle of June is playoff season for both the NBA and the NHL. For the first time in history the teams in both sports from the SAME city (Detroit) finished with the best overall record in the league, guaranteeing home court/ice advantage for as long as they remain.

Anything can happen in hockey and the games can be real nailbiters, especially if the opposing goalie gets hot. Having the best record during the regular season has seldom also led to the Stanley Cup. Basketball on the otherhand should almost always see the most talented team prevail over time.


All those rules are DOUBLED IN SPADES around here until we either win one or both championships. Sure would be great to have to figure out how to de-conflict two separate parades!!!

Tom

there is only one rule
I,M WATCHING THE FOOTBALL
enough said

You guys limit those rules to World Cup? Those should be post standing orders

After last night's [auto-censored]nal - Villareal match, going to have to add a rule about not saying anything when the remote control flies across the room when a penalty gets awarded for a blatant dive. (same goes for matches involving Man U).

EDIT - forgot that innocuous words containing the seeds of filth got auto-censored - how come Man U got past it then ?

I've heard many people say that baseball is boring. At one time I sort of felt the same way.

But what I have discovered is that there is a subtlety and depth to the game that many people never take the time to discover. If you have never played the game or studied it to learn those aspects you can really miss a lot.

Does the game move slowly compared to hockey or football (either type!) ? Yes, no question.

But in many ways it's the same thing as comparing an Alfred Hitchcock movie to an "Action Movie". Or perhaps comparing Euchre to Chess.

There is a dimension of strategy, and "what if" situational possibility that if not discovered, will usually lead the disinterested or uneducated spectator to feel bored.

Once you understand all the possibilities which MAY occur with each pitch, and give into the SUSPENSE as opposed to drinking in the ACTION, your eyes will be open. It is truly a thinking game in ways many never understand.

And there is one other thing about baseball which really can be quite appealing once you realize it. Unlike the "real world" , which is ruled with iron clad ruthlessness by an ever ticking clock, which is always winding down too fast, time itself is barred from intruding into the game. The game will continue until the last out is made, and the clock will never interfere.

When you're sitting in the sunshine on a beautiful summer day, what could be better than to throw your watch in the trash, and sit back and enjoy!

Tom

HEY! David, bite your tongue (preferably orf) :-)
The mighty devils will become strong again...
As for the WC rules list. Simple. I become 'HWMBO' master of my domain and keeper of the woozer

I m hoping Germany will take back the CUP...then again, the English doesn't look that bad also...