LOCATION



Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a

bench talking........and one blonde says to the other:

"Which do you think is farther away..........Florida

or the moon?



"The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can

you see Florida.......?????



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



CAR TROUBLE



A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells

the mechanic it died.



After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling

smoothly.



She says, "What's the story?"



He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"



She asks, "And, how often do I have to do that?"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



SPEEDING TICKET



A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks

her very nicely if he could see her license.



She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your

act together. Just yesterday you take away my license

and then today you expect me to show it to you!"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



RIVER WALK



There's this blonde out for a walk.



She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the

opposite bank.



"Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the other

side?"



The second blonde looks up the river then down the

river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



KNITTING



A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on

the freeway.



Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the

blonde behind the wheel was knitting!



Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing

lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window,

turned on his bullhorn and yelled , "PULL OVER!"



"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



BLONDE ON THE SUN



A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one

day.



The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"



The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"



The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first

on the sun!"



The Russian and the American looked at each other and

shook their heads.



"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn

up!" said the Russian.



To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you

know. We're going at night!"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



IN A VACUUM



A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.



It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed

on Science & Nature.



Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone

calls your name, can you hear it?"



She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or

off?"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!



A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had

acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names

were.



The blonde responded by saying that one was named

Rolex and one was named Timex.



Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming

dogs like that?"



"HELLOOOOOO," answered the blond. "They're watch

dogs!"

:-) good on ya mary

Hahahaha.... a good laugh is what i need at the afternoon in the office!! nice one Mary!

Hi Mary!

You aren't blond are you?

Bay the way, did you look at your Tiger claw post lately?

Ooooops!

Panzer Claw!

Sorry

Lol! Thanks for brightening up my day :-) :-) :-)

Good ones Mary, how about -
Two blondes were sitting at a bar and one says to the other " Oh my God the guy sitting on the stool next to me is masturbating " the other blonde says " Really, how can you tell ? " The first blonde replies " He's using my hand "
A blonde walks into a store and asks an employee at the counter " Whats that " The guy says " Thats a thermos " The blonde asks " Whats it used for " to which the clerk replies " Why it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold " The next day at work her boss walks by and says " Hi whats that " and the blonde says " It's a thermos silly it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold " and her boss says " Oh yea what ya got in it " and the blonde says " Coffee and a popsicle "
Cheyenne

There are NO blonde jokes,












They are all true!

Nice ones Mary and Cheyenne.

This is an old one, but perhaps if someone did't heard it:

A blonde was speeding with her car and pulled over by a female cop, blond as well.

"Can I see your license please?" ask the policewoman.

The blond in the car searched in her bag and ask: "How does a license look like?, I can't find it!"

The blonde cop say: "Relax lady. It's that flat thing with your face on it!"

The blonde looks again and find a little small miror in her handbag.
She looks at it and say "Oh, here it is.."

The blonde policewoman takes a good look in the mirror and gives it back to the blonde in the car:
"Sorry, I didn't noticed you are a colleague of mine!"

Paul

:-)8 Why isn't this emoticon blonde???

Excellent Mary! :-) :-) :-) :-)


What do you call-:
a Brunette between two Blondes – An interpreter
a Blonde between two Brunettes – A conversational gap

Great jokes Mary. Most of them are ones I've not heard before.

I'm glad that i could bring a smile to some of your faces.

Here is my dumb blonde joke

Paris Hilton

Alan,
Now THAT'S funny!!!!!!!

Good One Alan...lolololol.. :-)

Oh Alan!

How can you say something like that! She's an actress! She was at the "Festival de Cannes" lately! :-) :-) :-) :-)

Jean-Luc

Today I saw a blonde walking with a white T-shirt showing the text:
I'm blonde. Please speak slowly!