For those of you coming to Boston this summer for World Expo, the following is critical information: Subject: UNDERSTANDING BOSTON
For those of you who have never been to "Bawstin", this is a good guideline.
Streets and avenues:
There's no school on School Street, no court on Court Street, no dock on Dock Square, no water on Water Street
Back Bay streets are in alphabetical "oddah":
Arlington, Berkeley, Clarendon, Dartmouth, etc.
So are South Boston streets: A, B, C, D, etc.
If the streets are named after trees (e.g. Walnut, Chestnut, Cedar), you're on Beacon Hill.
If they're named after poets, you're in Wellesley.
Massachusetts Ave is Mass Ave; Commonwealth Ave is Comm. Ave;
Neighborhoods:
South Boston is Southie.
The South End is the South End.
East Boston is Eastie.
The North End is east of the former West End.
The West End and Scollay Square are no more; a guy named Rappaport got rid of them one night.
Roxbury is The Burry,
Jamaica Plain is J.P.
Medford is Medfid
Somerville is Slumaville
Definitions:
Frappes have ice cream, milkshakes don't.
If it is fizzy and flavored, it's tonic.
Soda is CLUB SODA.
"Pop" is Dad.
When we want Tonic WATER, we will ask for Tonic WATER.
The smallest beer is a pint.
Scrod is whatever they tell you it is, usually fish.
If you paid more than $6/pound, you got scrod.
It's not a water fountain; it's a bubblah.
It's not a trashcan; it's a barrel.
It's not a shopping cart; it's a carriage.
It's not a purse; it's a pockabook.
They're not franks; they're haht dahgs. Franks are money in France.
Police don't drive patrol units or black and whites they drive a "croozah".
If you take the bus, you're on the "loozah croozah".
It's not a rubber band, it's an elastic.
It's not a traffic circle, it's a rotary.
"Going to the islands" means Martha's Vineyard & Nantucket.
If something's good, it's "pissah". If something's really good, it's "wicked pissah".
The Pat's = The Patriots
The Sox = The Red Sox
The C's = The Celtics
The B's = The Bruins
Things not to do:
Don't pahk your cah in Hahvid Yahd ... they'll tow it
If you’re at the bah, ordah a beah!
Don't sleep in the Common. (Boston Common)
Don't wear Orange in Southie on St. Patrick's Day.
What you want on your toast is buddah!
Things you should know:
There are two State Houses, two City Halls, two courthouses, two Hancock buildings (one old, one new)
The colored lights on top the old Hancock tell the weathah':
"Solid blue, clear view...."
"Flashing blue, clouds due...."
"Solid red, rain ahead...."
"Flashing red, snow instead...." -
(except in summah; flashing red means the Red Sox game was rained out)
Route 128 is also I-95 south. It's also I-93 north.
I-90 is "The Pike"
The underground train is not a subway. It's the "T", and it doesn't run
all night (fah chrysakes, this ain't Noo Yawk).
Order the "cold tea" in China Town after 2:00 am you'll get a kettle full of beah.
Bostonian think:
that it's their God-given right to cut off someone in traffic.
that there are only 25 letters in the alphabet (no R's). Substitute an h wherevah an r is supposed to be.
that three straight days of 90+ temperatures is a heat wave.
six inches of snow is a "dusting."
always "bang a left" as soon as the light turns green, and oncoming traffic always expects it.
say everything in town is "a five-minute walk." (pronounced "wok")
that using your turn signal is a sign of weakness.
think that 63-degree ocean water is warm.
the Rhode Island accents are annoying.
Names of other Cities and towns:
How to say these Massachusetts city names correctly:
Worcester: Wuhstah or Wisstah NEVER Wore-Chester
Gloucester: Glawstah
Leicester: Lestah
Woburn: Woobun
Dedham: Dedim (like denim)
Revere: Re-vee-ah
Quincy: Quinzee
Peabody: Peabiddy
Waltham: Walth-ham
Chatham: Chattum
Eastham: East-ham
Clinton: Clih-in
Provincetown =P-town, located at the tip (which is the lower cape though it's the furthest point north on the cape) of the Cape (aka Cape Cod) not to be confused with Providence, which is in Roh Dielin
