Spare Parts
For non-modeling topics and those without a home elsewhere.
Questions without answers
Stormbringer
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England - South East, United Kingdom
Member Since: January 20, 2002
entire network: 1,667 Posts
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Posted: Wednesday, March 02, 2005 - 03:40 PM UTC
1. Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
>
> 2. Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
>
> 3. Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
>
> 4. Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?
>
> 5. On electric toasters, why do they engrave the message "one slice"? How many pieces of bread do they think people
> are really gonna try to stuff in that slot?
>
> 6. Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up,
> examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?
>
> 7. Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?
>
> 8. How do those dead bugs get into those closed light fixtures?
>
> 9. Considering all the lint you get in your dryer, if you kept drying your clothes would they eventually just disappear?
>
> 10. When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so,
> why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say, "That hurt!"
>
> 11. Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock
> something else over?
>
> 12. Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?
>
> 13. In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?
>
> 14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
>
> 15. If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it? And obviously if at first you don't succeed, then don't take up sky diving!
>
> 16. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends, if they're okay, then it's you.
>

Pete
TsunamiBomb
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Arizona, United States
Member Since: September 21, 2004
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Posted: Wednesday, March 02, 2005 - 03:47 PM UTC
OMGOSH, i am sooo releived! I am not the only one that relates to these! One time this idiot kid about my age rammed a cart into my butt when he was messin around. I almost knocked thekid out. I mean, i play football in all n i can take a hit. But that [auto-censored] hurt bad, and the fact that he was "just playing around" got me even more pissed. Oh gosh, me n the refrigerater too. Good times with that darned thing. I walk to my refrigerated, open it, close it. Go to my pantry, open it, close it. Walk back to my refrigerater open it close it, gosh darnet why dont we have any food in the house! Oh wow, I had quit a laugh over this post, thanks a bunch mate.
lestweforget
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Victoria, Australia
Member Since: November 08, 2002
entire network: 2,832 Posts
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Posted: Wednesday, March 02, 2005 - 03:47 PM UTC
:-) i do number 4 alot
cfbush2000
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North Dakota, United States
Member Since: December 01, 2001
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Posted: Wednesday, March 02, 2005 - 04:00 PM UTC
Good stuff Pete. :-) :-) :-)

You made my day.

Chuck
Hwa-Rang
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Kobenhavn, Denmark
Member Since: June 29, 2004
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Posted: Wednesday, March 02, 2005 - 07:32 PM UTC
LOL Good questions :-)
AJLaFleche
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Massachusetts, United States
Member Since: May 05, 2002
entire network: 8,074 Posts
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Posted: Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 02:43 AM UTC

Quoted Text

14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?



The father-in-law is the one holding the shotgun!
phoenix-1
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Wisconsin, United States
Member Since: December 25, 2003
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Posted: Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 04:08 AM UTC
Number 16... it is definately me... but remember, I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Kyle
Halfyank
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Colorado, United States
Member Since: February 01, 2003
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Posted: Thursday, March 03, 2005 - 06:47 AM UTC

Quoted Text

14. How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?




Quoted Text

The father-in-law is the one holding the shotgun!



No, it's because fathers-in-law are cool. My wife can't stand to be around her mother and they haven't spoken in five years or longer. I know if my father in law Bill was still alive that wouldn't be the case. He was a great guy and I really miss him.

Once they get used to the fact you're doing the nasty with their little girl they can be a great help.