Thought you guys would enjoy this, its from www.pull-up-a-sandbag.com

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Who has not thrilled to the story of Horatius at the bridge? How he and two
Other Romans stood off the Army of Lars Porsena until the bridge to Rome
Could be destroyed? How his companions ran to safety as the bridge began to
Fall? How Horatius, only after the bridge was down, quit his post and swam
The Tiber to safety? Here is a translation of a papyrus found recently which
Requested an award for Horatius:

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Rome, II Calends, April CCCLX
SUBJECT: Recommendation for Senate Medal of Honour
TO: Department of War, Republic of Rome
I. Recommend Caius Horatius, Captain of Foot, CMCMXIV, for the Senate Medal
Of Honour.
II. Captain Horatius has served XVI years, all honourable.
III. On the II day of March, during the attack on the city by Lars Porsena
Of Clausium and his Tuscan Army of CMX men, Captain Horatius, with Sergeant
Sporius Laritus and Corporal Julius Herminius, held the entire Tuscan army
At the far end of the bridge, until the structure could be destroyed,
Thereby saving the city.
IV. Captain Horatius did valiantly fight and kill one Major Picus of
Clausium in individual combat.
V. The exemplary courage and the outstanding leadership of Captain Horatius
Are in the highest tradition of the Roman Army.

JULIUS ANTINOUS,
Commander, II Foot Legion


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Ist, Ind, AG IV Calends, April CCCLX
TO: G-III

For comment.


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IInd Ind, G-III IX Calends, May CCC
TO: G-II

I. For comment and forwarding.

II. Change end of paragraph III from "saving the city" to "lessened the
Effectiveness of the enemy attack." The Roman Army was well dispersed
Tactically; the reserve has not been committed. The phrase as written might
Be construed to cast aspersions on our fine army.

III. Change paragraph V from "outstanding leadership" to read "commendable
Initiative." Captain Horatius command was II men, only I/IV of a squad.

J.D.
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IIId Ind, G-II II Ides, June CCCLX
TO: G-I

I. Omit strength of Tuscan forces in paragraph III. This information is
Classified.

II. A report evaluated as B-II states that the officer was a Captain Picus
Of Tifernum. Recommend change to "an officer of the enemy forces."

J.H.
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IVth Ind, G-I IX Ides, January CCCLXI
TO: JAG

I. Full name is Caius Claudius Horatius.

II. Change service from XVI to XV years. One year in Romulus Chapter BPOE,
Has been given credit for military service in error.

E.J.

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Vth Ind, JAG II, February CCCLXI
TO: AG

I. The Porsena raid was not during wartime; the temple of Janus was closed.

II. The action against the Porsena raid, ipso facto, was a police action.

III. The Senate Medal of Honour cannot be awarded in peacetime
AB/CVIII-XXV, paragraph XII, C).

IV. Suggest consideration for Soldier's Medal.

P.B.

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VIth Ind, AF IV Calends, April CCCLXI
TO: G-I

Concur in paragraph IV, Vth Ind.

L.J.

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VIIth Ind, G-I I May CCCLXI
TO: AG

Soldier's medal is given for saving lives; suggest star of bronze as
Appropriate.

E.J.
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VIIIth Ind, JAG II Calends, June CCCLXI
TO: JAG
For opinion.

G.C.

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IXth Ind, JAG II Calends, September CCCLXI

I. XVIII months have elapsed since event described in basic letter. Star of
Bronze cannot be awarded after XV months have elapsed.

II. Officer is eligible for Papyrus Scroll with Metal Pendant.

P.B.
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X Ind, AG I Calends, October CCCLXI
TO: G-I

For draft of citation for Papyrus Scroll with Metal Pendant.

P.B.

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XI Ind, G-I III Calends, October CCCLXI
TO: G-II

I. Do not concur.

II. Our currently fine relations with Tuscany would suffer and current
Delicate negotiations might be jeopardized if publicity were given to
Captain Horatius' actions at this time.

T.J.

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XII Ind, G-II VI November CCCLXI
TO: G-I
A report rated D-IV, partially verified, states that Lars Porsena is very
Sensitive about the Horatius affair.

E.T.
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XIIIth Ind, G-I X November CCCLXI
TO: AG

I. In view of information contained in preceding XI and XIII the
Endorsements, you will prepare immediate orders of Captain C. C. Horatius to
One of our overseas stations (remote).
II. His attention will be directed to paragraph XII, POM, which prohibits
Interviews or conversations with newsmen prior to arrival at final
Destination.

L.T.
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Rome II Calends, I April CCCLXII
SUBJECT: Survey, Report of, and Department of War
TO: Captain Caius Caius Horatius, III Legion, V Phalanx, APO XIX, C/O
Postmaster, Rome.

I. Your statements concerning the loss of your shield and sword in the Tiber
River of III March CCCLX have been carefully considered.

II. It is admitted that you were briefly in action against certain
Unfriendly elements on that day. However, Sergeant Lartius and Corporal
Herminius were in the same action and did not lose any government property.

III. The Finance Officer has been directed to reduce your next pay by
II-I/IV talents (I-III/IV talents cost on each sword, officers; III/IV
Talent cost of one each shield, M-II).

IV. You are enjoined and admonished to pay strict attention to conservation
Of government funds and property. The budget must be balanced next year.

H. MARCUS AURELIUS
Lieutenant of Horse
Survey Officer (Gungadin)

Clearly a parody, but funny nonetheless. Sounds like a transcription of the congressional record. The author left out while drafting this record that the Senate recommend a raise for themselves for debating this issue.

Dave :-)

I remember reading this many many years ago...it still has humor