Why did the Chicken cross the road?

LA Police Department: Give us five minutes with
the chicken and we'll find out!

Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or
did the road move under the chicken?

Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no
chicken has gone before.

Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent,
hardworking American.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of
rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping
50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken.

Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that
chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying
sexual insecurity.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Someone told us that the
chicken had crossed the road and that was good
enough for us.

Bill Clinton: Because in a lapse of judgement
I mislead the chicken. However Kenneth Starr's
report on the matter was uncalled for.

Colonel Sanders: Did I miss one?

Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the
road. I repeat, the chicken did not cross the
road. I don't know any chickens. I have never
known any chickens.

Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where
all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross
the road.

Ronald Reagan: What chicken?

Bill Gates: I have just released Chicken Coop
2000, which will not only cross roads, but will
lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook, and Explorer is an
inextricable part of the operating system.

Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I
mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What
the heck was this chicken doing walking around all
over the place, anyway?

Oliver Stone: The question is not, Why did the
chicken cross the road? Rather, it is, Who was
crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken
crossing?

JFK: Ask not what your road can do for your
chicken - ask what your chicken do for your road!

Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have
been naturally selected in such a way that they
are now genetically disposed to cross roads.

Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed
the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the
road justifies whatever motive there was.

Buddha: Asking this question denies your own
chicken nature.

Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He
said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the
road". And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.

Hamlet: To cross or not to cross, that is the
question!

Kindergarten teacher: To get to the other side!

thought this one might raise a chuckle
Pete

LOL! LOL! Good one!
Now Peter, why did you cross the road ?

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

Garry

To get to the Lhs Garry lol.
Pete
:-)

Soup Nazi; "What you get out of line?!!"
"NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!"

lol!

i like a few lines, they gave me a good old morning chuckle! :-)

That is pretty funny! :-)

I liked the Saddam hussein one!

Rob

Very funny Peter. I saw this a few years ago and saved it. there was a few other answers in the version i had.

PLATO: For the greater good.

TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would
let it take.

RONALD REAGAN: I forget.

GERRY ADAMS: This was obviously a plaintiff and symbolic gesture on
behalf of the chicken, who incidentally is a legitimate representative of his
community, which repudiates the use of this particular road for a
contentious display of triumphalism, which is clearly intended to
inflame the poultry community, who have had to suffer........

HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The
chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.

FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain.

MICHAEL SCHUMACHER: It was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken
obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross.

BILL CLINTON: Let us be clear about this, I want to make this very
clear, I did not, at any time, cross any road with any chicken. I may have been
alone with a chicken in the course of my official duties while I was
Governor of Arkansas, but I want to totally refute any allegations
which any chicken may have made.

HILLARY CLINTON: This constant harrasment and villification of my
husband is totally unwarranted and unjustified.

ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was
threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with
significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required
for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering
relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its
physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry
Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills,
methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's
people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy
within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse
cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson
consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage
in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal
knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with
each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and
successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across
the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a
park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which
was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a
consistent,clear,
and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's
mission,vision,
and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total
business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken
change to become more successful.
:-)

Absolutely funny. Mailed this to my collegues and a chuckle was heared everywhere on the floor. Thanks for a good laugh at the beginning of the weekend... :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)

You guys are too much!!! I can always rely on somebody at the Big "A" to brighten my day...Thanks again!

Gunny

Can I add my own?

Monty Python: What is the weight of a chicken?

LogansDad: Was the chicken weathered?

Gunny: Oorah? What chicken?

GrumpyOldMan: Nope, wasn't my chicken.

Gunner....beehive......chicken in road....(up)...(identified) fire----target ! cease fire..........there's dinner boys !!!!!!!

W: To find corn. I mean to free the corn harvesters from the oppressive corn grower. I don't care if it's a soybean farm, I know there's corn there. And the chicken will find corn there. And even if there's no corn there now, the farmer had corn once, we gave it to him and he'd like to have corn again.

Kerry: The field was filled with maize, not corn, even if it is a soybean field.

Nader: I want to answer the question, too. Won't anybody ask me about the chicken. I know all about chickens, they're unsafe in any pot.

Edwards: I helped the chicken file a lawsuit to be able to cross the road anytime it wants and got an injunction prohibitting use of the road by any traffic.

Cheney: The chicken can go $%#$ itself!

Did I miss anyone?

Al, yours made my day. Love em.