A major Hurricane (Shazza) measuring 5.8 on the Richter scale hit in the early hours of Monday. Epicentre: Basildon, Essex. Victims were seen wandering around aimless muttering "faaackin ell" ...
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish Costa's were damaged beyond repair. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giro arrived.

Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Basildon.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Millie-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after, items most needed include:

-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same. Required foodstuffs include:
-- Microwave meals
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
-- Cans of Colt 45 or Special Brew.

22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

WHAT ? NO MODEL KITS ?
LMAO! Good gag Davy. The 15 year old mother of 5 could have gave it away!



Garry

The £30,- worth of damage goes a long way too. I recon it is half the yearly income of the local pro-Europe lobbyist?

LMAO - long live Essex jokes!

Nice one Davy, I had to laugh at that. It could be describing the estate where I deliver mail. lol :-)

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) what more can i say,good one Davey
Arthur

Ere theres nufink wrong with Basildon ,Ive often shared a park bench with the Mayor sharing a bottle of Tescoes Chatau de wallet.Anyone wanna buy an Rs2 know wot I mean.

Check this out.... http://www.cecimoz.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Chavs2.htm

Very funny Davy! :-) :-) :-)
This one has been doing the rounds in sweden lately
With all the news on TV lately about the extreme weather conditions
affecting the East Coast of the US, the mud slides in the Middle East and
South America, the flood that made it's mark on Southern England, along
with
the dire predictions made by such films as The Day AfterTomorrow, we
shouldn't forget that Sweden has its share of devastating weather too.

I've attached a photo illustrating the damage caused to my home from a
storm
that passed through the south of Sweden(Borås) last week. It really makes
you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take things for granted!

click here for photo illustrating the severe damage

'ere, wotcha lookin af.



Free biro's can be obtained for Argos ( next time they buy another 'prizeless heirloom' at Elizabeth Duke).

We really should have a 'bling, bling' smiley me thinks.

Essex is a county of many parts, it's not at all like that where I live in Chelmsford, though there may be some major destruction if the neighbours carry on thinking 3 in the morning is music time

Sounds a lot like some of the places up the valleys in Wales, where I sued to live.