1. It started raining in Europe on 1 September 1939. When it wasn’t raining, it was snowing. The sun finally reappeared in May 1945.
2. Paint fell off vehicles as soon as it was applied. What didn’t fall off at the factory, wore off as soon as it was touched, except for the paint in inaccessible areas that wore off for no particular reason.
3. Rust never sleeps. All ground vehicles turned rusty as soon as it rained and/or the paint wore off. (See #1 and #2).
4. There were approximately 612,000,000,000 Germans in the military. Every one of these has been molded in plastic, resin, or metal at least once.
5. The allied ground forces included 27 men. 11 Brits who alternated between the Desert Rats and the Red Devils, 12 Americans, evenly divided among the First Infantry and the 82nd and 101st Airborne Divisions, Sir Bernard Law Montgomery, Ike, Patton and MacArthur. The Japanese military consisted of 5 guys, a pilot, an officer armed only with a sword and 3 guys who ran behind him.
6. When 2 or more Germans met, or even faced each other, at least one automatically began pointing randomly.
7. The Germans had no sense of direction. When confronted with ay intersection, they instantly evacuated their vehicles and began pointing randomly. (See # 6)
8. German tanks and other armored vehicles invariably drove around by themselves. (See #7)
9. The Germans developed 212,413 different types of armored and soft skinned vehicles, and repurposed about a thousand other types of captured vehicles. Every one of these is available from at least three model companies.
10. The allies developed four workable tanks. Only two of these have seen light of day in plastic.
11. The greatest hero of the war was Michael Wittman. To wit, everything he ever sat in has been produced in plastic, including the outhouse he used at the Kaiser’s Kamp fur Kinder.
12. Tanks engaged each other at distances of as much as 30 feet.
13. The most effective camouflage for a tank was to apply bags, boxes, ammunition, including uncrated shells, and clothing o every horizontal or vertical surface.
14. Tankers were trained to leave their side arms on the piles of stuff they accumulated and threw onto the tank. (See #13)
15. Every European house had a main floor capable of supporting a 50 ton tank.

thats great stuff,I know there is an even longer list floating around somewhere

So true!

tanks float over muddy terrain, soldiers march through snow without making footprints. Tank roadwheels only get dirty on the outside . Shermans always seem to stop at the street corner with the French bakery.....

Didn't even get to the planes flying with flat tires, parked on the ramp with live munitions...

You forgot Stalin.

ha ha ha

No straps, no ropes or even tie-downs anywhere.

Must be held on by some kind of MAGIC!

Cheers,
Joe

Hi Al,

I have to admit that when I first read through the list (I did read it more than once) I thought to myself here is somebody who is equally fed up of seeing rustbuckets of military vehicles, a disproportionate amount of German stuff produced by manufacturers and impossible situations for soldiers to be in. Very funny and clever too.

Cheers,

Paul

So true!
Some people's tanks look like they are about 200 years old with the massive amount of chipping and rust involved!
And magical stowage that needs no ropes or straps!
Or huge amounts of spent shells on the floors of a self propelled gun or open topped assault gun, as if enemy fire wasn't dangerous enough. you could slip and trip on spent shell casings which the crew most likely tossed over the side!