Post any - kahit corny, kahit in pinoy...

Here's one first:

Funny Christmas Carol

Hahahha! That was funny! Here's more flash hope you like it

Duck Hunt - Care to kill that annoying dog?

Mortal Kombat

Mr T vs Hitler - Das Super Cannon

Mr T vs Osama

I am the Man - Really?

Real Hussein - Saddam makes a rap

The following are posts posted in succession that I remember from another forum discussion group I participate. These were posted during OEF and the subject was "How to punish the Taliban."

Member 1: "We should bury a Taliban fighter alive with a lawyer."

Member 2: "That would be cruel."

Member 3: "To whom?"

Member 4: "Oooh! Tough choice."

Colonoscopies
A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their Colonoscopies:

1. "Take it easy Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before?

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Oh boy! That was sphincterrific!"

5. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

6. "You know in Arkansas we're now legally married."

7. "Any sign of the trapped miners Chief?"

8. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

9. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

10. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!"

11. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

12. "You used to be an executive at Enron didn't you?"

And the best one of them all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not
up there.

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Rafferty.

The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs. Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer husband two years ago?"

She replied, "Aye, that ye did, Father."

The Father asked, "And be there any wee ones yet?"

She replied, "No, not yet, Father"

The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer husband."

She rplied, "Oh, thank ye, Father." They parted ways.

Some years later, they met again. The Father asked, "Well now, Mrs. Donovan how are ye these days?"

She replied, "Oh very well Father."

The Father asked, "And tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?"

She replied, "Oh, yes Father. Three sets of twins and four singles, 10 in all."

The Father said, "Glory be! That's wonderful! How is yer loving husband doing?"

She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle!"

Heeeheeeheeeheeeheee!

Pilot http://lonely.mondominishows.com/mj.html

Flashback http://www.dangertheater.com/la-ep2.html

Sexual Harassment http://www.dangertheater.com/la-ep3.html

A Typical Day http://www.dangertheater.com/la-ep4.html

The Rescue http://www.dangertheater.com/la-ep5.html

Lunar Rover http://www.dangertheater.com/la-ep6.html

The TV Show http://lonely2.mondominishows.com/mj.html [/i][/QUOTE]

Aw c'mon... am I the only one with a truck-load of corny jokes? Pambihira naman!

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip, but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce
the toys as fast as the regular ones, so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then, Mrs. Claus told Santa that her Mother was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth, and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then, when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked,and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys.
So frustrated, Santa went into the house for a mug of cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered that the elves had hidden the liquor, and there was nothing to drink.
In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider pot, and it
broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw end of the broom.
Just then, the doorbell rang, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas,Santa. Isn't it a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where do you want me to stick it?"

Thus, began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

A mother had 3 daughters. They were all getting married within a short

time period. Because mom was a bit worried about how their sex lives

would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the

honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt. The first girl sent a

card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but

"Nescafe." Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got

out the Nescafe jar. It said: "Good till the last drop." Mom blushed, but

was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and

the card read: "Benson & Hedges." Mom now knew to go straight to her

husband's cigarettes, and she read from the Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra

Long. King Size." She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for

her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a

week, nothing. Another week went by, and still nothing. Then after a

whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky handwriting

were the words: "British Airways."

Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine, flipped through the

pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for the airline. The ad

said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted.

You guys have no sense of humor, no sense of humor at all...

Did you hear? At the Makati Med's Intensive Care ward, patients had been dying on the same bed, and always on Sunday mornings at 11 a.m., regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors. Some thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. Or even murder. No one could solve the mystery of "Why deaths happen on Sunday at 11 AM?"

Jaime Licauco, Fr. Bulatao and the Ateneo paranormal folks were called in. They arrived one Sunday, armed with special photographic equipment, infra-red devices and motion-sensitive radar to detect any presence. A few minutes before 11 a.m., all the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the mysterious phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, strings of garlic, amulets, prayer books
and other holy objects to ward off evil spirits.

Just then, the clock struck 11.......and then....




































Mang Joe, part-time Sunday janitor, entered the ward, unplugged the life support system and plugged in the vacuum
cleaner.