A hail of gunfire rocked SSGT. Ugano O'litz and his platoon in the jungles of...

Of the Giant's armpits. He had no idea how he and his squad got there but in the summer sun, everything was beginning to reek. In spite of the dizzying fumes, he knew that he had to keep alert for the lice that would soon come. He flicked his selector to "burst" and tried to keep from fainting.

Lying unmolested among the dead and the dying he had a unique view of the enemy stronghold...

... which was a pus-filled mound with the rabid lice moving around and around, toting 90mm recoilles rifles. SSGT. O'litz had to do something. He got his radio and ordered...

(pssssshhhht....)"Request Air Support over Area Delta over"...(psssssshhhhhhht...)

*kablam* *skalpoch* *pssht*

came a barrage of hairy-booger-artillery...

Suddenly, out of the chaos, there appears the air support called by SSGT. Ugano O'litz .

The ground starts to rumble and shake with the thunderous blasts of bombs and missiles. What appeared to be napalm was actually flaming bull excrement. The smell was a happy stink.

Olitz is shocked however when one of the planes suddenly bellows smoke from its engines, apparently injured by SAM batteries to the south. The plane descends as gently as a brick, falling into...

a huge pile of , Tamiya Basic Putty (the grey one).............

Lt. LaTtE, the pilot of the downed plane, suddenly experiences bliss and gets high from the lovely smell of the putty fumes... and falls into a deep sleep while...

...Mr. Gunze Sangyo comes and kisses him on the....

... very dirty, pus-filled toe which reacts violenty starting a spasm of gross mucuous spewing out of a catheter to the right-side corner of Mars which was due to come in an instant in the Jurassic epoch. As this happens, scores of dung beetles fling heaping mounds of 203mm HE shells on the front, destroying...