I found this very funny and wanted to share.

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Rules on Sending Care Packages (New and Improved!)
Thursday, July 5, 2007, 07:30 PM
I recently revised the Golden Rules of Care Packages because I know my readers always enjoy a good laugh. Either at my expense, or theirs. The only real point to this list, is to have a laugh. So, keep that in mind if you choose to read on. Me, personally, I love each and every care package I receive. But shenanigans like this, is what usually gets me in trouble with readers, so hopefully you have a sense of humor before reading this. Just saying...

1. Do not send party invitations for weddings or Independence Day or any other festivities while we are deployed. Probably, because we can't attend. Anybody who sends a party invitation to a deployed soldier is clearly retarded.

2. Do not continue to write a soldier, when the soldier never writes you back. If you really want attention that bad, jump off a building.

3. The meanest thing you can do to a soldier is to send generic, not name brand goods. Hey, I like to save money too, but you should at least have the decency "to not" send care packages. Sending generic brand goods is worse than taking a dump in a cardboard box and shipping it over.

4. No more magazines dated back to 1980. It's not like anybody is actually going to read them. I know vacuum cleaners with better Care Package sense than you.

5. Don't ever send school supplies unless we ask. Most soldiers don't like to criticize care packages, but you could send over a box of deadly scorpions or feces, and that would be the best package you've ever sent. Yes, seriously.

6. Do not send a typed written letter about your personal life to a soldier. It doesn't matter if you're Elvis Presley back from the dead or the first person to ride a unicorn. Receiving a typed letter about your personal life is the lowest form of support known to a soldier.

7. Don't shop at the Dollar Store for your soldier. I'm sure it sounds great when you tell your family and friends that you support the troops by sending care packages, but if you're shopping at the Dollar store, you're probably worse off than we are. Please, send us the mailing address to the bridge you live under, and we'll try and help.

8. If it's not electronic, it's not worth sending. I'm convinced 99% of what people send us is garbage. I haven't seen a soldier yet, complain about receiving an iPod in the mail. I'm just saying.

9. Do not send crossword puzzles. Or word finds. It's a sure way to disappoint a soldier when they open the Care Package. I've seen people who were punched in the face repeatedly; look much happier than soldiers who opened care packages with Crossword Puzzles.

10. Don't tell a soldier that you understand what he or she is going through because your neighbor's cousin, who has a sister, who has a brother, knows somebody who was deployed. It's a sure way of having your care package transformed into a kicking ball. Or, a smoking pile of ash.

This is SO Right On the money!